Most common thing any ADHD kid has ever heard from teacher parent meetings:

“_____ is so smart, they just need to ApPlY tHeMsElVeS”

I was definitely kid B. Little assignments, I wouldn’t remember and big assignments were too intimidating to start until the very last minute.

There’s a pretty well-supported theory that our education system was designed to churn out good factory workers. Obedient drones who will stand in one place for 8+ hours doing repetitive tasks that require a good memory and high attention to detail but only in the exact way they’re told to do something.

I used to complain that the rules of society were made up by “morning people and extroverts” when I was the opposite of both; now I recognize that I’m simply neurodivergent and the neurotypicals are the ones in charge. With therapy and reading posts like yours from other neurodivergent thinkers I’ve come to accept and appreciate how my brain works. I don’t see it as a mental illness (and even the term neurodivergent isn’t the best as it implies deviation from what’s “normal”). Maybe after society collapses we can build one that recognizes people think in different ways and have different strengths, but until then just remember: you’re not a bad person, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.

If you want a genuinely radical take on education, Noam Chomsky says this in Understanding Power:

Well, that’s pretty much what the schools are like, I think: they reward discipline and obedience, and they punish independence of mind. If you happen to be a little innovative, or maybe you forgot to come to school one day because you were reading a book or something, that’s a tragedy, that’s a crime―because you’re not supposed to think, you’re supposed to obey, and just proceed through the material in whatever way they require.

And in fact, most of the people who make it through the education system and get into the elite universities are able to do it because they’ve been willing to obey a lot of stupid orders for years and years―that’s the way I did it, for example. Like, you’re told by some stupid teacher, “Do this,” which you know makes no sense whatsoever, but you do it, and if you do it you get to the next rung, and then you obey the next order, and finally you work your way through and they give you your letters: an awful lot of education is like that, from the very beginning. Some people go along with it because they figure, “Okay, I’ll do any stupid thing that asshole says because I want to get ahead”; others do it because they’ve just internalized the values―but after a while, those two things tend to get sort of blurred. But you do it, or else you’re out: you ask too many questions and you’re going to get in trouble.

Now, there are also people who don’t go along-and they’re called “behavior problems,” or “unmotivated,” or things like that. Well, you don’t want to be too glib about it―there are children with behavior problems but a lot of them are just independent-minded, or don’t like to conform, or just want to go their own way. And they get into trouble right from the very beginning, and are typically weeded out. I mean, I’ve taught young kids too, and the fact is there are always some who just don’t take your word for it. And the very unfortunate tendency is to try to beat them down, because they’re a pain in the neck. But what they ought to be is encouraged. Yeah: why take my word for it? Who the heck am I? Figure it out for yourself. That’s what real education would be about, in fact.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8940492-well-that-s-pretty-much-what-the-schools-are-like-i

That’s pretty much America after school too. If you are not a high achiever, your seen as not worth it and “lazy”. Also Amerikkkas school system is what I believe to weed out people who don’t conform to society, and make kids into better servants for capatilism. Imo of course.

You are describing textbook systemic ableism, and the sad reality is that calling it out and trying to act against it shouldn’t be, but is radical in a world where marginalising people for being different is the acceptable norm (for those in power it keeps us from disrupting their systems because we don’t fit their moulds and/or they might have to make extra considerations for us, which might cost them a few pennies, so that’s a no. And for the rest of the population - it gives them someone to be superior to. After all that’s all bigotry is - making one group feel superior to another to rationalise abuse and discrimination, using systems created by those who benefit the most from said abuse and discrimination either directly in stolen labour and resources or indirectly by sowing and maintaining division in the population to stop us from uniting against our oppressors).

I think this is a good starting place to learning about systemic ableism and the models of disability, which will help in understanding and breaking down these barriers and obstacles we face.

Go get yourself tested for ADHD and find a therapist. ADHD and PTSD are frequently concomitant for the reasons you’ve stated above.

i haven’t got a diagnosis for ADHD, but for the longest time i’ve been Kid B. used to fail at copying stuff from the blackboard to my notebook, sometimes having my notebook functionally empty that day, or sometimes not having enough because i didn’t write fast enough, and then get beaten up that day upon arriving at home and showing it and then being told by everyone that i don’t care enough and that it’s all fault of whatever entertainment i have at home (the console i used to play games in, the computer i browsed in, etc.).

got that drilled into my head enough times for me to start believing it myself at some point. delusion only weakening by the time i was living with my father and him not actually caring when i decided to put more effort in people-pleasing by trying to figure out how to write less to make it seem like my notebook has stuff written on it since i never figured out how to write text fast enough like everyone else in my class could.

this never went away though. in my previous job i still got told that multiple times, as well as having that repeated by my mother in the past year because of me not being able to get a job this far.

I was definitely like Kid B. My precalculus teacher once asked me, in front of the whole class, how many assignments I’d have done out of 10. To which I answered honestly with 2, making everyone laugh.

My trigonometry teacher was convinced I was cheating on tests since I barely did any homework, and had me take a test alone in front of her to prove I wasn’t. I did well enough that she believed me and stopped questioning it, fortunately.

Also had a teacher scold me one on one in elementary school over not doing homework, making me cry. I’m sure she thought she was helping, but all that accomplished was making me feel bad.

Didn’t figure out I had ADHD until my 30s. Hopefully things will keep getting better for kids as knowledge and awareness expand.

I was kid A. Of course, I didn’t turn in EVERY assignment but I burned myself out from an early age just to get by. I met my husband in college who kid B, and was always so jealous of his ability to do everything last minute, never study, and get higher grades than me. For reference, I’m a woman and I believe adhd looks a bit different for most of us than it does for men. Being kid A means I was diagnoses but never treated because I was “doing fine”. I struggled so much with depression and anxiety in my teens and 20s though.

Am I the only one who was never told off as lazy by my teachers? Even if I neglected to turn in homework regularly, I worked hard on projects and participated in class. I don’t think I’ve ever asked a teacher to just let me pass if I didn’t make the grade. I usually calculated out what my grade would be if I missed a certain number of assignments, and figured out what test scores I needed. When I didn’t pass, maybe I lacked the gall or the privilege but it has never occured to me to ask a teacher to change something where the criteria was clearly spelled out from the start.

Nah. We had kid A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W Y Z, each struggling in our own way. But individual tutoring is impossible so what was applied instead is the “good enough”.

The problem with bulk education is that it accepts a bare minimum and arbitrarily decides everything else are defect products. Yet those ‘defect products’ that manage to etch out a way forward on their own often end up much better than the bulk carelessly tossed on the production line.

Proper education is a conundrum. But any educator worth their salt will agree on one thing: If a student can’t learn, it’s the teacher that’s failing to teach.

I’ve been - to some degree - Kid A. I accomplished much by the help of doping (with substances) and anxiety of failing.

The price I had to pay came with several burnout depressions. I’m now 34 years and I decided to become Kid B - in favor to my own health.

Many teachers liked me, but they definitely were frustrated because they thought I was relying on my good tests only, as if I thought that being smart was enough in life. They warned me that hard work was also necessary.
I don’t blame them, and it is kind that they were worried about it, but it was not an attitude or belief, it was ADHD! A teacher even detected my memory problems and suggested a to-do list, but she didn’t know that even acquiring those habits is hard for us.

I wish my teachers knew more about ADHD as all the clues were there. An early diagnosis would have helped me a lot.

Well, then you have folks like my brother who was Kid B, but doesn’t have ADHD and was just a lazy fuck who didn’t see the point of schoolwork. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The average school is going to be built for the average kid to pass. That means more points are going to be in the day-to-day work rather than the big tests. So if your class has 500 points available and only 100 of those are tests, then yeah, you’re going to fail when you only get 100/500 points.

However, if you have a kid B, then it’s worth looking into if your area has alternate programs from the average curriculum and seeing if they would work for your kid.