• @tsonfeir@lemm.ee
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    553 months ago

    Two months from now:

    LifeWise pastor arrested for child molestation. Says Biden made him do it.

    • @taanegl@lemmy.world
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      263 months ago

      Local group Concerned Matriarchs LLC is now holding a prayer vigil to get the gay communist demon out of the pastor’s penis, who they claim had been infected when accidentally partaking in liberal art.

      • @tsonfeir@lemm.ee
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        133 months ago

        Concerned Matriarchs LLC spokesperson says female staff are not pedophiles for having sex with underage boys in order the make them straight.

  • @seth@lemmy.world
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    363 months ago

    Christians always seem to advocate for public prayer, going fully against the explicit quote by Jesus in their holy book that specifically instructs them not to pray in public, or in groups. He says word for word how they are supposed to pray, twice…once in Matthew, once in Luke. In Matthew, he even tells them to go do it secretly in a quiet place like the innermost room of their home so no one else sees it.

    These dominionists are such assholes.

  • @Clasm@ttrpg.network
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    193 months ago

    What other hope do we have,” Penton said, “but to inject the word of God into the hearts of brainwash the next generation?”

    -ftfy

  • Flying Squid
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    183 months ago

    Not that I want this nation to turn into a theocracy, but when it does, I look forward to the Great Sectarian Wars.

    • @holycrap@lemm.ee
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      163 months ago

      Why yes, of course they have! It turns out god conveniently wants all the same things they want and hates all the same people they hate! Isn’t it a miracle?

      Oh, and he wants money.

  • @Maggoty@lemmy.world
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    73 months ago

    I just love how they claim it’s not state sponsored. While anyone who doesn’t participate doesn’t continue classes. They go to the library until the Christian kids come back. The entire school day is structured around their “off-site” prayer.