From my experience most trans people are pretty clear cut. I get that they change their pronouns a lot when transitioning and coming out of the closet because it must be hard to pick a pronoun when you dont even know who you are. They are usually ok with the singular they. My problem is with tiktok queers and people who just change it for fun basically. I dont care if your pronoun is xe or idk but i do care when you dont accept if i use they(which i even use for cishet people because in my native language we dont have genders and its just generally easier).
Yeah painting all trans people that way is nonsense. It gets pretty close to bigotry territory. I gotta wonder where you live or what kind of choices you are making to surround yourself with that many unhinged people. Where I’m at I’ve encountered zero trans people that act like you’ve described.
This person is either lying, or had some karen at the coffee shop go off, and is now stretching that. I have family in Boston, Including a couple that live Jamaica Plains. That has been like LGBTQ central for a while. They, and no one they know, have ever been assaulted by people over privilege, pronouns, or for being white/straight/male/cis. They said the only place they have ever seen such eruptions of behavior is online, meaning it’s just the rare karen.
That, or they are bigot that goes out and agitates this type of behavior. Then frames it in a manner in which they are the victim.
The inherent traits of a species of berries is not comparable to the behavior of an entire demographic. If you treat all trans people as though they are unhinged or looking for the slightest excuse to be offended then that is as much bigoted behavior and stereotyping as treating all Mexicans as lazy or all black people as criminals or all Irish as angry drunks. People are not berries. Their treatment of you isn’t coming from the genetic level.
You may have had some legit crazy fringe case experiences and the shock and hurt that you would feel from that would be very valid but if you turn immediately from that to “if I’m gonna be treated like a bigot then I’ll just be a bigot” then there are some worrisome seeds already planted. If things went as you described them then you had some unfair encounters but those handful of experiences are not close to enough to judge all trans people by. That’s hard to grapple with if there is still that emotional sting from those experiences. I do understand the reaction of “fine I’ll show you just much I can be the thing you wrongly accused me of being”. I’ve been guilty of that in other contexts. But it’s destructive and toxic. It makes the people treating you wrongly feel completely justified. It makes you act like a terrible person that you are not.
If you are going to make substantial edits to your post like that (as opposed to small corrections) I think you should either make a new post with the follow up information and ideas or make it very clear in your original post what the added content from the edit was.
That is a quality of life issue. This person’s issue is not their changing pronouns, it is that they are an asshole, who loves to milk the victim role.
I am a cis, male guy, who due to some hormonal issues looked androgynous and sounded like a girl when I was in my late teens and early 20s, and was addressed as “miss” quite often, and for the most part, people would just say “Sorry” when corrected, then address me as a guy.
This is how people should behave, the person you describe is just an asshole, whether they are aware of it or not.
Same issue I used to have with gay people, I used to think they were all loudmouth assholes, until I found out that what I had been exposed to was a loud minority, a ton of gay people are your regular Joe and Jane, and you would never know they were gay unless they told you.
Don’t let a loud minority sour your day, you have been doing the right thing, and the downvoted are overzealous, reactionary assholes.
I am a cis, male guy, who due to some hormonal issues looked androgynous and sounded like a girl when I was in my late teens and early 20s, and was addressed as “miss” quite often, and for the most part, people would just say “Sorry” when corrected, then address me as a guy.
Did you ever have someone insist that you’re wrong? I looked quite feminine from childhood all the way to around 25-26 years old. I can think of several occasions where people insisted that I couldn’t be a man.
The most positive one was when I was flying to the U.S., and ended up chatting with an elderly lady for a few hours while waiting for the check ins. She had a massive wagon with pots and pans and whatnot, and I had a tiny carry-on. Eventually we realised we’d forgotten to exchange names, so we introduced ourselves. She was like “but that’s a boy’s name”, “well that explains why your luggage is so small!” and every so often she’d say “I can’t believe you’re a man” incredulously.
Worst time was when I was frequently swimming in my teens, and a Karen-type person walked up to me, insisting I put on a bikini because I’m too old to walk topless. It didn’t register with me that she mistook me for a girl at first; I just thought this pervert old woman wanted me to dress like a girl.
Eh, that’s different. Police officers choose the profession. Trans folks aren’t choosing the trans life, they’re discovering who they really are (maybe I should have just quipped “…the trans life chose them”, ha).
There’s nothing wrong with trying to avoid assholes, but when you start painting with a broad brush like that, well, it does smack of bigotry. Same energy as racists who memorize arrest statistics and then say things like “It’s not racist if it’s true!”
Also, to be clear: I don’t mean to accuse you of anything. I just see some uncomfortable parallels.
Personally, I don’t have a lot of experience in this area. I’ve really only been acquainted with two trans people, and I don’t/didn’t know them very well (I say didn’t because I haven’t seen the one person since before covid). Both were friends-of-friends type acquaintances that I’d see at game nights and the like.
Bro just use singular they. Why is it so hard.
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You used they in this comment but don’t state you use they as a generic pronoun. Dude just use they
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From my experience most trans people are pretty clear cut. I get that they change their pronouns a lot when transitioning and coming out of the closet because it must be hard to pick a pronoun when you dont even know who you are. They are usually ok with the singular they. My problem is with tiktok queers and people who just change it for fun basically. I dont care if your pronoun is xe or idk but i do care when you dont accept if i use they(which i even use for cishet people because in my native language we dont have genders and its just generally easier).
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Avoid “them” meaning all trans people or the handful of dipshits you were choosing to talk to?
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Yeah painting all trans people that way is nonsense. It gets pretty close to bigotry territory. I gotta wonder where you live or what kind of choices you are making to surround yourself with that many unhinged people. Where I’m at I’ve encountered zero trans people that act like you’ve described.
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“You can’t know if someone is a dipshit until after you interact with them, btw.” That you said that is kinda at odds with what you are saying now.
If you are going to treat all members of a group as being the same as the worst members you have met then you are just choosing to be a bigot.
The issue isn’t trans people as a whole. It’s also not even close to half of trans people. There is something unique about your situation.
This person is either lying, or had some karen at the coffee shop go off, and is now stretching that. I have family in Boston, Including a couple that live Jamaica Plains. That has been like LGBTQ central for a while. They, and no one they know, have ever been assaulted by people over privilege, pronouns, or for being white/straight/male/cis. They said the only place they have ever seen such eruptions of behavior is online, meaning it’s just the rare karen.
That, or they are bigot that goes out and agitates this type of behavior. Then frames it in a manner in which they are the victim.
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The inherent traits of a species of berries is not comparable to the behavior of an entire demographic. If you treat all trans people as though they are unhinged or looking for the slightest excuse to be offended then that is as much bigoted behavior and stereotyping as treating all Mexicans as lazy or all black people as criminals or all Irish as angry drunks. People are not berries. Their treatment of you isn’t coming from the genetic level.
You may have had some legit crazy fringe case experiences and the shock and hurt that you would feel from that would be very valid but if you turn immediately from that to “if I’m gonna be treated like a bigot then I’ll just be a bigot” then there are some worrisome seeds already planted. If things went as you described them then you had some unfair encounters but those handful of experiences are not close to enough to judge all trans people by. That’s hard to grapple with if there is still that emotional sting from those experiences. I do understand the reaction of “fine I’ll show you just much I can be the thing you wrongly accused me of being”. I’ve been guilty of that in other contexts. But it’s destructive and toxic. It makes the people treating you wrongly feel completely justified. It makes you act like a terrible person that you are not.
If you are going to make substantial edits to your post like that (as opposed to small corrections) I think you should either make a new post with the follow up information and ideas or make it very clear in your original post what the added content from the edit was.
That is a quality of life issue. This person’s issue is not their changing pronouns, it is that they are an asshole, who loves to milk the victim role.
I am a cis, male guy, who due to some hormonal issues looked androgynous and sounded like a girl when I was in my late teens and early 20s, and was addressed as “miss” quite often, and for the most part, people would just say “Sorry” when corrected, then address me as a guy.
This is how people should behave, the person you describe is just an asshole, whether they are aware of it or not.
Same issue I used to have with gay people, I used to think they were all loudmouth assholes, until I found out that what I had been exposed to was a loud minority, a ton of gay people are your regular Joe and Jane, and you would never know they were gay unless they told you.
Don’t let a loud minority sour your day, you have been doing the right thing, and the downvoted are overzealous, reactionary assholes.
Did you ever have someone insist that you’re wrong? I looked quite feminine from childhood all the way to around 25-26 years old. I can think of several occasions where people insisted that I couldn’t be a man.
The most positive one was when I was flying to the U.S., and ended up chatting with an elderly lady for a few hours while waiting for the check ins. She had a massive wagon with pots and pans and whatnot, and I had a tiny carry-on. Eventually we realised we’d forgotten to exchange names, so we introduced ourselves. She was like “but that’s a boy’s name”, “well that explains why your luggage is so small!” and every so often she’d say “I can’t believe you’re a man” incredulously.
Worst time was when I was frequently swimming in my teens, and a Karen-type person walked up to me, insisting I put on a bikini because I’m too old to walk topless. It didn’t register with me that she mistook me for a girl at first; I just thought this pervert old woman wanted me to dress like a girl.
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Eh, that’s different. Police officers choose the profession. Trans folks aren’t choosing the trans life, they’re discovering who they really are (maybe I should have just quipped “…the trans life chose them”, ha).
There’s nothing wrong with trying to avoid assholes, but when you start painting with a broad brush like that, well, it does smack of bigotry. Same energy as racists who memorize arrest statistics and then say things like “It’s not racist if it’s true!”
Also, to be clear: I don’t mean to accuse you of anything. I just see some uncomfortable parallels.
Personally, I don’t have a lot of experience in this area. I’ve really only been acquainted with two trans people, and I don’t/didn’t know them very well (I say didn’t because I haven’t seen the one person since before covid). Both were friends-of-friends type acquaintances that I’d see at game nights and the like.
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