There have been similar posts in the past and you all might be tired of commenting on them, but I’m really curious what it’s like for others. So here I am posting my own question thread.

Given that our core identities are defined by lots of different quirks, gender, romance, sexuality, platonic affinity being some of them. I am curious to know what aspects all of you measure yourself by and how you place yourselves within the bigger picture. Especially hoping for some wholesome takes that may help someone else feel more comfortable with themselves, should they adopt the way of thinking.

I’ll share my own take: Gender identity

  • Masculine-feminine spectrum: Definitely more comfortable with feminine side.
  • Fluidity: experiencing some, not sure if that is because of uncertainty or inherent.
  • Intensity flux: also experiencing some, some days are just a little extra “I want to be a girl”-days.
  • Overall: unsure about where that leaves me, status quo (I’m just me) is fine for now.

Attraction to others

  • Sexuality: Definitely bisexual, trans-inclusive (who would have guessed).
  • Romantic…ality?: Vastly different from sexuality, mostly romantically interested in women (cis or trans), i’d say biromantic with a 90% bias. Any men I’ve had romantic interest in shared some feminine traits, so ‘femromantic’? Is that a thing?

Social traits

  • Platonic affinity: Find myself feeling most comfortable around women. As long as I can remember I’ve always been one of the girls and some interactions with men actually confirm that I’m absolutely nothing like the average dude.
  • General sensitivity: Without a doubt HSP, even though others usually can’t tell (which gets me in trouble).
  • Social tolerance: Intuitively introverted, though have become more outgoing lately, so not strictly introverted.

Obviously these are just some examples of things we can measure ourselves by, curious to see which ones you will add or remove and why. And it goes without saying: Only share what you’re comfortable sharing.

TL;DR: I’m a huge nerd and have reduced myself to an n-dimensional vector, and I’m asking you to do the same and maybe add some dimensions you know of.

  • RozaŭtunoEnglish
    4•2 months ago

    • Definitely on the feminine side of gender, but I’m also tomboyish and don’t give much of a damn about gender roles. No fluidity to speak of.

    • Bisexual homoromantic. I’ve always knew I liked girls, but accepting that I can find some boys cute took a lot more processing to finally accept. Partly because of my OCD feeding me intrusive thoughts about sexuality for most of my teens.

    • Social tolerance: it’s… complicated? Irl I’m the type that starts out very reserved, but if I spend enough time with someone, something in my head clicks and then I never shut up when I’m with them.

    Any men I’ve had romantic interest in shared some feminine traits, so ‘femromantic’? Is that a thing?

    Something like finsexual maybe? Finromantic?

    Intuitively introverted, though have become more outgoing lately, so not strictly introverted.

    I think that introversion/extroversion and reclusion/outgoingness are actually different spectrums. You can be outgoing but still need time alone to recharge your social batteries.

    • Semivir [he/him, she/her]OPEnglish
      3•2 months ago

      Partly because of my OCD feeding me intrusive thoughts about sexuality for most of my teens.

      Our brains can be such a problem sometimes! Though to be fair we’re similar on that front, and it took me a while to come to terms with it as well. It’s likely because of the feelings either not being very strong or very consistent that you’re going to doubt them. OCD surely doesn’t help though.

      • Social tolerance: it’s… complicated? Irl I’m the type that starts out very reserved, but if I spend enough time with someone, something in my head clicks and then I never shut up when I’m with them.

      Oh yeah, that’s definitely me as well. Always have trouble with people I don’t know because I’m not sure how they will respond to me. As soon as the baseline has been established and I feel comfortable they’re free game! 😅

      finsexual maybe? Finromantic?

      I’ll look into it, thanks!

      I think that introversion/extroversion and reclusion/outgoingness are actually different spectrums. You can be outgoing but still need time alone to recharge your social batteries.

      And this is exactly the kind of nuance I was looking for! Thanks for being critical. Framing it this way definitely helps to explain my weird love-hate relationship with other people. There might be a third dimension to it, but I’ll save that brainbreaker for another time.

      Thanks for your contribution!

    • -Emma-
      3•2 months ago
      • Social tolerance: it’s… complicated? Irl I’m the type that starts out very reserved, but if I spend enough time with someone, something in my head clicks and then I never shut up when I’m with them.

      Me too. I’ve also kinda gotten this way online a bit too. I share possibly too much about myself and my interests and probably get really annoying. But it takes me like a year of lurking before commenting or interacting at all. I wonder if there’s a word to describe this…phenomenon/personality?