So to preface this is posted in literature.cafe’s meta community but this
question is primarily aimed at generally anyone in the lemmyverse who is NOT a
cisgender man no matter what instance they may be in. The purpose of this thread
is to present a stage for conversation for those willing to contribute, and
although cisgender men are not excluded I kindly ask you to be mindful of the
fact what this thread is meant for and try to avoid talking over others here. If
you are a cisgender man interested in learning and seeing how lemmy can improve
like I am: welcome. For those who are here to cause issues or talk over others
though, you will be promptly removed. I do not know the demographic data of
lemmy, but I would wager a large portion are male. And over the past few weeks I
have witnessed women on numerous occasion discuss their discomfort on here.
Reddit very much had a very “bro-y” feeling culture for many, that felt like a
barrier to entry to many women. With lemmy, there’s a potential to break this.
But the answer really is how? Lemmy has begun to develop into its own culture
already independent of Reddit quite rapidly, and it’s been awesome to see but I
am wondering if there’s a way we can push it a step further and implement ways
to make the platform more welcoming to women than Reddit previously did.
Thoughts?
Conversation ongoing over there, inviting anyone who wants to participate to please consider sharing their thoughts if they are willing to. If you wanna post in the original thread from your instance copy and paste the link into your instances search panel
As I said in the thread, if you aren’t comfortable posting feel free to DM me here or on matrix and I can post anonymously for you.
That’s not really feminist adjacent. That’s a very specific part of feminism that’s against porn. There’s like half the feminist that are not so prude and even in favour of porn or sex work in general.
Just because people disagree with you doesn’t mean they’re misogynistic assholes or anti-feminists.
I called no one misogynistic assholes or anti-feminists, nor did I say porn was bad. I pointed out some things that are concerns for women.
Let’s revisit my comment. Here’s what I said:
porn is immoral and should be controlled, discouraged and made illegal
Oh wait, I didn’t say that, I said:
vaguely porn-negative
Even using this gentle phrasing I’m finding myself having to defend points I never claimed.
I think you’ll find that the over-sexualization of women in general is a concern for feminists (and for women), and part of that problem (this is my opinion, since you are concerned with it) is the over-sexualization of women in media, not just porn, but it includes it. I don’t think porn should be illegal, and I don’t think it’s immoral to view porn, nor do I think anyone that views a lot of porn is a bad person. I do think it can alter someone’s perception of their fellow humans. I don’t think porn makes misogynists. I also think even the most sex positive feminists will have trouble with exploitative practices in the porn industry. Sex positive feminists want sex positive porn, which does not include all porn created. I actually consider myself a sex positive feminist, but I don’t really want to hear about how much you don’t agree with that statement, so I’m not going to elaborate.
All of this is besides the point: The over-sexualization of women is an issue for women. This is just one example of a women’s issue. You can remain “stealth” on Lemmy as a woman (and who would prefer to be visibly female here? What good would it bring?), but as soon as you start talking about your own experiences in regards to gender and sexuality, well, suddenly a lot of anonymous people have a lot to say about it, sometimes it requires typing paragraphs in explanation. Some commenters are waiting for some cantankerous feminist on the internet to call people “misogynistic assholes or anti-feminists” just so they can find a good target to debate. That doesn’t seem like people wanting to listen to woman’s experiences, does it?
Anyway, I think I’ve said my part. You clearly feel some way about this stuff, and I’m feeling like commenting on Lemmy is a mistake, so I will probably not be writing anything else in this thread.
Ok, I misjudge your stance on the matter. The big words I used when mines, I wasn’t giving them to you.
Anyway, my point was that when you express ideas on Internet, you will see them challenged, regardless of your gender. Feminism is a hot topic, so you will find a lot of people to argue about it. It’s not because you’re a woman, it’s because it is a hot topic.
If you don’t want your ideas being discussed, indeed you shouldn’t express them on Internet.
That being said, there are certainly men targeting women specifically, and I’d call that harassment, but it wasn’t the case of the example you gave.
As for the topic itself, it seems my only disagreement would be that I think that any kind of exploitation is bad, so women and their body in this case is no better than in construction for example. There’d be more to say about the subject, but it doesn’t seem you want to talk, so have a nice day.
That’s not really feminist adjacent. That’s a very specific part of feminism that’s against porn. There’s like half the feminist that are not so prude and even in favour of porn or sex work in general.
Just because people disagree with you doesn’t mean they’re misogynistic assholes or anti-feminists.
I called no one misogynistic assholes or anti-feminists, nor did I say porn was bad. I pointed out some things that are concerns for women.
Let’s revisit my comment. Here’s what I said:
Oh wait, I didn’t say that, I said:
Even using this gentle phrasing I’m finding myself having to defend points I never claimed.
I think you’ll find that the over-sexualization of women in general is a concern for feminists (and for women), and part of that problem (this is my opinion, since you are concerned with it) is the over-sexualization of women in media, not just porn, but it includes it. I don’t think porn should be illegal, and I don’t think it’s immoral to view porn, nor do I think anyone that views a lot of porn is a bad person. I do think it can alter someone’s perception of their fellow humans. I don’t think porn makes misogynists. I also think even the most sex positive feminists will have trouble with exploitative practices in the porn industry. Sex positive feminists want sex positive porn, which does not include all porn created. I actually consider myself a sex positive feminist, but I don’t really want to hear about how much you don’t agree with that statement, so I’m not going to elaborate.
All of this is besides the point: The over-sexualization of women is an issue for women. This is just one example of a women’s issue. You can remain “stealth” on Lemmy as a woman (and who would prefer to be visibly female here? What good would it bring?), but as soon as you start talking about your own experiences in regards to gender and sexuality, well, suddenly a lot of anonymous people have a lot to say about it, sometimes it requires typing paragraphs in explanation. Some commenters are waiting for some cantankerous feminist on the internet to call people “misogynistic assholes or anti-feminists” just so they can find a good target to debate. That doesn’t seem like people wanting to listen to woman’s experiences, does it?
Anyway, I think I’ve said my part. You clearly feel some way about this stuff, and I’m feeling like commenting on Lemmy is a mistake, so I will probably not be writing anything else in this thread.
Ok, I misjudge your stance on the matter. The big words I used when mines, I wasn’t giving them to you.
Anyway, my point was that when you express ideas on Internet, you will see them challenged, regardless of your gender. Feminism is a hot topic, so you will find a lot of people to argue about it. It’s not because you’re a woman, it’s because it is a hot topic.
If you don’t want your ideas being discussed, indeed you shouldn’t express them on Internet.
That being said, there are certainly men targeting women specifically, and I’d call that harassment, but it wasn’t the case of the example you gave.
As for the topic itself, it seems my only disagreement would be that I think that any kind of exploitation is bad, so women and their body in this case is no better than in construction for example. There’d be more to say about the subject, but it doesn’t seem you want to talk, so have a nice day.
Well said.