This is a photo on my (f28)Instagram. My brother in law (m42) reacted to it in DM, and said the above. I feel I replied normally, but now my sister (f39) apparently saw the message and is saying that I engaged in hot discussions with her man! I am myself married and I feel so bad now. I told my husband who said I did nothing wrong. Any idea how I could approach my sister ?
He is some flavor of perv or addict. He probably does or thinks about doing these type of things all the time, but he chose you because you’re family which gave him some sort of an “in” and more likely to respond to him than if he just DM’ed any other woman he’s creeping on.
His intention imo was just masturbatory fodder and it probably wasn’t much more than that. He may be smart normally but if he’s perving or an addict then his judgement is being clouded. And him trying to talk to you like this is an escalation because he was trying to establish some type of connection rather than do his creeping in silence.
What your sister should realize that if he’s done this to you then he absolutely has been creeping on other women. Your sister should be concerned about that because if he isn’t sending creepy messages to other women already then he will be.
What do you mean he’s an addict?
I mean that he has shown bad judgement and couldn’t help himself from messaging his SIL in an escalation that is clearly against the bounds of his relationship with the sister. So in the case of an addict he would be addicted to the feeling of doing this type of behavior. People can get addicted to all sorts of things, behaviors or activities. In this case i think he “couldn’t help himself” from making a bad decision, which does show to me on some level he could be addicted to some part of this.