So as a not-so-quick overview, I’m AMAB. I have never strongly related to being male, though I also haven’t ever felt like I was in the wrong body. For most of my life, when people would ask me to describe my sexuality, the best description I could come up with was that I was ‘a lesbian in a man’s body.’ That never felt quite right though, because I was always very comfortable and happy with my outward presentation being mostly male. My mentality has always been very femme oriented, and that really shines through in most of my interests, and with my choice of friends (95% are women, the rest are a mix of gay men and allies), hell, even most of the traumatic stuff I’ve been through in life is typically experienced by women rather than men.

Fast forward to two years ago and I start talking to an enby friend of mine, and they point me to a website that discussed some of the nomenclature around non-binary gender expression. That’s when I discover the gender non-conforming and genderqueer titles, and I feel like the clouds parted and I finally was seen. They perfectly summed up my experience with my gender. But, even after finding those terms, I’m still very comfortable with my male body (I just enjoy it even more with some makeup, pretty colors and fabrics, and some nice nails). I just found the term ‘fembear’ and that feels pretty close to me.

With all that said, when I think about my sexuality (I’m attracted to AFAB people ranging from lipstick femme to extremely androgynous enbys) the term straight really doesn’t feel like it captures who I am. I’ve been reading up different terms and the one that resonated with me the most is ‘sapphic’. I’m just worried that it may not be okay for a largely male presenting AMAB person to use that term to describe themselves… I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking this, but either way I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on the matter.

If you got this far, I truly appreciate you and your time.