My husband of 17 years is a judge. Recently multiple people have come out publicly with their stories about my husband because all the complaints they have filed with the Council which deals with this have been ignored throughout the years - no investigation opened. My husband has always kept me in the dark about his work - finances, so let’s just say I have my reasons to believe the allegations. The most horrific one I’ve heard is my husband ruled that a 12-year-old consented to having sex with an adult (legal age of consent at the time was 15 in our country), so there was no conviction. The accused in this trial was wealthy. I didn’t know about this until now. Frankly I’m completely disgusted with him.
That’s rough. I’d start with having a calm and truthful conversation, clearly establishing your worries and feelings and go from there.
Yes, but. Be prepared. Financially, mentally, and with the right information. You cannot know what will happen in this conversation.
Why? He has never once shared anything about his life, job, or finances with OP. Why would he start?
But also shame on OP for never knowing about their finances either.