Rule #2 is possibly our most important one:

Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.

Learn to disagree without being rude or disrespectful.

It can be difficult sometimes, since western social media thrives on collective outrage, and they knowingly ingrain this into us for years. But please do adhere to this rule, and it will make this place much more enjoyable.

We will not hesitate to issue temp bans (usually a day or two) for those who make everyone’s experience unpleasant.Hit the report button if you see this behavior.

Thanks!

  • ImOnADiet [he/him]English
    17•11 months ago

    ? I’ve been following that thread since yesterday, calling someone “buddy” is not respectful

    • BrooklynManEnglish
      7•11 months ago

      well, since you’re going to be disrespectful to me by setting an hilariously outrageous and arbitrary standard and then use that to insinuate that I’m actually the one who has done something wrong, I’m just going to assume you’re a troll.

      strange place to come and do that

      • ImOnADiet [he/him]English
        16•11 months ago

        what? why are you reacting like this I just said that you escalated the tensions yourself? Ironically this is exactly what I meant

        • BrooklynManEnglish
          3•11 months ago

          you’ve clearly come here to antagonize me by accusing me of something preposterous: using the word “buddy”-- a word which means companion, friend. is English, maybe, not your first language?

          you’e the one making false accusations, and now, again. you’re clearly a troll.

          • ImOnADiet [he/him]English
            18•11 months ago

            calling people buddy, when you don’t know them, is passive aggressive to most people. And thanks for taking literally the worst faith interpretation possible, I just looked into this thread and saw you commented and remember reading through the argument you and Yog had.

      • ImOnADiet [he/him]English
        21•11 months ago

        it’s not “offensive” it’s disrespectful to be overly familiar with people like that. Calling someone I know buddy is very different from starting out an argument with buddy with an online stranger, it portrays a tone of disdain

          • @amberSuperMario@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
            15•11 months ago

            What do you gain from behaving this way? I understand it’s easy to get heated online but you’re just plainly trying to get under someone’s skin for no reason. Maybe you genuinely disagree that calling a stranger “buddy” right at the start of a disagreement is disrespectful, but you’re literally just responding derisively to someone in a way that you know they find disrespectful, underneath a post specifically telling you to be respectful in disagreements.

            Also, personally I think it’s strange to question someone else’s understanding of English in regards to calling a stranger “buddy” in a disagreement, seeing as I think most English speakers would understand the passive aggressive attitude of such a thing easily.

          • @bobs_guns@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
            11•11 months ago

            there’s a difference between being a bit rude and saying slurs at people, you know. they are both disrespectful though!

              • @bobs_guns@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
                10•11 months ago

                It’s not a ridiculous comparison because the person I’m replying to said earlier “wait until you hear the actual offensive words in the English language.” Slurs are obviously included in that category.

                Additionally, it is certainly rude to call someone “buddy” or “bud” when they’ve repeatedly asked you to stop, which this thread is full of people doing. And if you were to call me “buddy,” you would be misgendering and infantilizing me and that would certainly be offensive. It’s a word that you can only reasonably call a 5 year old boy and one would hope there aren’t many folks like that on here.

                Learn to read the room a little, huh?

                  • @bobs_guns@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
                    9•11 months ago

                    none of how rude something you’ve said is or whether someone perceives something you’ve said as gendered is for you to decide. that’s all something that depends on the other person and their experiences in the world. being polite necessarily means that you have to take into account what other people are likely to think of what you’ve said. I don’t know how to explain this any more clearly. What are you not understanding here?

            • DarraignTheSaneEnglish
              2•11 months ago

              And finally, you hit some truth. Yes, being disrespectful means different things to different people in different contexts and in different areas of the world. If someone turned to me in public and said “hey buddy can you pass me that thing”, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I’m guessing someone from Brooklyn (e.g. @BrooklynMan) likely calls people meets on the street buddy as a matter of course.

              But go ahead, feel free to keep taking offense to anything you like. You’re not obligated to have a good reason.

          • ImOnADiet [he/him]English
            9•11 months ago

            I would find it offensive if someone called me a shithead, as well as disrespectful, while calling me buddy/bud is disrespectful but not offensive

          • ImOnADiet [he/him]English
            10•11 months ago

            I said you escalated tensions. I really do think that calling someone buddy is overly familiar, I guess I can’t speak for everyone but the argument really seemed to take a turn downhill when you called Yog buddy I don’t think it’s outlandish to say that escalated tensions. I really didn’t intend for it to come off as an “accusation” was just trying to give some pretty mild push back that you yourself were disrespectful in an argument. I think Yog probably should get a temp for like a day if you think I’m being unfair