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Cake day: 2025年2月8日

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  • romanticremedytoTransfemHow did you settle on a name?
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    3 天前

    Started with the name my ex think suits me. Sounded too gender neutral and common. Tried bunch of names I can think of who were my transition goals. How did I tried? Used that name on food order and also imagined how it would feel like to get referred to that name.

    Didn’t like any of those either so I looked up list of woman’s name. And chose something unique (at least in English speaking country) and has meaning that I feel very connected to.

    Take your time





  • romanticremedyto196different rule
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    11 天前

    Good question. This is my personal view so it might not represent general opinion.

    I think it depends on whether that was intentional or not. Just like misgendereing, someone referring me by my deadname isn’t a big deal if it was a mistake. It would take some time to associate me with my chosen name so it’s understandable.

    However, if it was intentional (or more likely, seems like intentional), that person is not acknowledging my new gender and chosen name, and that is disrespectful or even rude.

    I’m trying think of relatable experience for cis folks. Say u r in 20s and some extended family member calls u by ur old nickname when u were really young. Probably there’s no bad intention in this case, but u might get this uncomfortable feeling that

    ‘that (nickname) does not describe me any more. I’ve grown out of that (nickname)’

    That emotion could be similar to what deadnaming feels like for trans folks. Of course u have to amplify that negative emotion by like 1000x.


  • romanticremedyto196different rule
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    11 天前

    Lol I have similar story. Met someone from my university course 10 yrs ago recently at sports hobby group. Asked if he took this course at the university.

    He was shocked and asked: “wtf how did u know?” “I was there too” “But I don’t know (or recognize) u”

    Guess I pass as my gender? It gave me euphoria haha. I didn’t tell him my deadname tho