• 4 Posts
  • 27 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 12th, 2023

help-circle

  • I tell myself that taking the first step (of whatever task I’m avoiding) doesn’t mean I have to complete whatever task I’m avoiding. Somehow reminding myself that, for example, taking my socks off doesn’t mean I HAVE to take a shower, gets me over the initial hurdle of resistance. If necessary, I will lie to myself about each step of a task, with full knowledge I’m only saying it to trick myself into doing something. At some point, I decide that I might as well finish (usually).





  • Oh, yeah! I love those tracks too.

    Those lines in wrong way/one way: I touch the ground/send my roots deep down/try to stick around.

    And these from big lie: Everything’s changing / there’s beauty between the lies

    I’m massively indebted to the friend who introduced me to RVIVR. I think I love all of their music.

    I once was able to participate in a live stream thing Erica did on Instagram; she asked for requests, and then played mine! I was on cloud nine for months after and still get giddy thinking about it. To be fair, I think she played all the requests, but still…












  • I also “over apologize”. My mom does too. We say things like, “I’m sorry this is so hard” or “I’m sorry your [insert injured body part] hurts!” when empathizing. We apologize if someone bumps into us.

    For me (and my mom) this appears to be a learned behavior.

    While I am from Minnesota, and my mom grew up in a small community a few hours from the Canadian border, I attribute this habit to my mom growing up with a mom who was pacified by apologies. For example: Every time someone in the family has a baby shower, my grandma is there, gifting several large wooden spoons with a “funny” anecdote of how she once broke a wooden spoon disciplining my uncle, while my mom always talked her way out of a spanking (by apologizing, giving compliments, taking on responsibility - essentially fawning). My grandma isn’t “a piece of work”, but I’m pretty sure she has ADHD (that lady cannot stop moving/talking!!), on top of a traumatic childhood.

    I don’t have anything to add other than commiseration at this point. My tendency to apologize as a social lubricant worked until I was out of college, when I started receiving feedback that it was aggravating, annoying, and made me seem weak (by people I would consider socially aggressive/takers/abusers on the extreme end of the spectrum).