Hey,
So I feel down. I’ve been feeling bad for 3 weeks now, despite the meds.
It all started with a woman with whom I shared this very quick, powerful attachment, which suddenly turned around into… Something else ; I’m not sure what yet, but in any case I fucked it up.
Along the way (and thanks to her) I’ve ended up realizing a bunch of messed up stuff about myself, and I’m now questioning basically everything about my life, including some of my closest friends, who I truly am under all the layers of bits I took from them… And now I’m confused, ashamed at my confusion, ashamed in general, feeling guilty about that messed up stuff, and pretty lonely.
I need to work on all that, but I keep procrastinating the emotional work it requires. Or maybe I’m just impatient ; I have started some stuff : I’m in the process of switching therapists for example. But the mood is still most of the way down.
Is Lemmy and this online double life you escape to the way you normally cope? Do you see someone in real life about those feelings?
I hope they leave you alone soon.