It’s good to have goals

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That’s not a birch

This is a birch.

Gibson
Rogan
2028

We need a ROAD WARRIOR to survive this American wasteland.

Joe Rogan would be like the Coma-Doof Warrior. But instead of a guitar shooting flames, he’d have a podcast mic shooting fart gas that he would just yell nonsensical phrases into just to make noise. Well Mel Gibson is driving him around town with a literal horse strapped to the front injected with ivermectin and main lined into Mel’s veins as a blood bag. The horse would have lines from the Book of Revelation tattooed all over it.

I cook by vibe mostly because I don’t have the items the recipe calls for. So I typically substitute whatever I have that I think fits or smells right. Works well 9/10, just when someone asks me what I used to make something, I have no fucking clue.

Enhance 224 to 176.
Enhance, stop.
Move in, stop.
Pull out, track right, stop.
Center in, pull back.
Stop.
Track 45 right.
Stop.
Center and stop.
Enhance 34 to 36.
Pan right and pull back.
Stop.
Enhance 34 to 46.
Pull back.
Wait a minute, go right, stop.
Enhance 57 to 19.
Track 45 left.
Stop.
Enhance 15 to 23.
Give me a hard copy right there.

Was going to say this wooden post looks like it’s about to drop some life changing advice.

United Healthcare --> Luigi’s Mansion

I said two shots of espresso Xenos SCUM!

The first sentence of a horrible Elon x Trump fanfiction.

Have you seen this boy?

Everything reminds me of Vim

DM: Roll a D20 for a stealth check.
Rouge: I bat my eyelashes.
DM: Huh, I misread your character sheet. I’ll allow it.

Keep moving west and “Hicks and Mountains” turns into “Hicks and Meth”

#1 You have nipples.
#2 You like things inside you.
#3 You like rubbing or licking things.
#4 You’ve said “A hole is a hole”.

Beans, Bears, Battlestar Galactica

Amateur! I haven’t stood up in so long my leg muscles have atrophied. Slowly my body has fused with my office chair. I only take 10 min micro naps as my body periodically shuts down, a weakest of my flesh. Never leaving the office, I occupy one entire floor of the building as my productivity lair. This floor has been secretly hidden from everyone else to avoid distractions. I only enter other floors when most employees are gone for the day, usually late at night. I make these excursions to double check my coworkers daily progress or scavenge for food.

Most of my coworkers seem to fear me, perhaps I’ve become something of myth? They gave me a name, because I heard one scream “the Chairman is real!” as I startled him. He was working late that night as I creeped around his cubicle wall. Since I was famished, I quickly knocked him out with a keyboard and dragged him back to my lair for a quick power lunch.

“Yes doctor, that is how it got stuck in my ass. I swear.”