• sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      Yup. My coworker’s wife lost a baby after announcing it to me and other management (he was excited), and it was well within the first trimester. I felt really bad for him, and the best I could do is not bring it up and just focus on work.

      It’s hard to place yourself into someone else’s position, so if in doubt, it’s usually best to stay quiet.

      • chowdertailz@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I cooked at a restaurant with a guy who had something similar happen a couple years before I started there. His nickname was angry johny because he was so irritable. Whenever tears in heaven by Clapton came on he would would yell at the manager to skip the song and dissappear into the walk in. He ended up quitting for other reasons but a year or two later I ran into him at a bar and he and the same lady had a healthy birth and all his anger melted away and he turned into a really rad dood. He even apologized to me about his behavior in said kitchen.

        • Clent@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Can’t help but think this why we use to have fertility rituals.

          Some genes mixes are less compatible than others

          Marry the one you can easily procreate with.

          I know we’re not supposed to say it but consider where we’re posting here, a series a miscarriages actually is your fault, technically your genes faults but you are your genetic code.

          Think how much hatred this fuck put out there because he chose a nearly incompatible mat.

            • Clent@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              I am honored.

              I would like to thank all of the unviable embryos.

              We could not have had this moment together without them.

          • Leeker@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Honestly I don’t even know where to begin with this comment. Like, blaming people for their miscarriage is a taboo and for good reason. It doesn’t matter how right you might be, it is still wrong on so many levels.

            • Clent@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              Yep. But it’s fun to stop and realize how fucking hilariously bizarre we are as a species; pretending we’re highly evolved logical beings.

              We each make our existences more miserable out of politeness. A concept that has shifted and lurched over humanity’s existence.

          • areyouevenreal@lemm.ee
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            9 months ago

            Where is your evidence that any of this is true? You are making bold claims about human genetics, though I am willing to accept them if you have sufficient evidence.

            From what I understand miscarriages are common regardless as human reproduction is a very finicky process where many embryos fail to even implant. These don’t even get classed as conventional miscarriages or often even noticed as embryos are so small at this stage.

            What I do find kind of funny is that people aren’t prepared for miscarriages when they are so very common of an occurrence. Especially if you want multiple kids it should be expected that you will miscarry at least once. Previous generations wouldn’t be this hung up on it as early infant death was common, nevermind miscarriage, and they understood that the process was fickle at best.

            • Clent@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              I think it’s all funny. I think it’s especially funny that people are so offended at me for noticing the funny surrounding this topic.

              It’s emotional topic for people who have miscarriages and I am labeled as bad for having the wrong emotion. That alone is hilarious.

              Your rose color glasses on how people of the past approach this is silly. Infanticide was widely practiced prior to modern history. Some estimates put it at 50% for distant eras. The preciousness of children is a modern invention.

              For much of humanity’s existence children were a burden and pregnancy wasn’t a choice. Now that it is a choice, there is this added guilt that society chooses to wash away with comforting lies.

              • areyouevenreal@lemm.ee
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                9 months ago

                Your rose color glasses on how people of the past approach this is silly. Infanticide was widely practiced prior to modern history. Some estimates put it at 50% for distant eras. The preciousness of children is a modern invention.

                So guessing they would care about a miscarriage, then? No?

                I don’t get why your downvoting me, I agree with you that people shouldn’t be as upset over marriages.

                What I disagree on is that miscarriages ever had anything to do with genetic compatibility. You’re going to have to present scientific evidence if you want to make that claim. It sounds like you just made it up to be honest.

                Edit: wouldn’t care, not would care.

                • Clent@lemmy.world
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                  9 months ago

                  That’s the part you think I made up?

                  I’ll admit I can’t source that one, most of the studies are on cousin fucking but it would reason the most genetically diverse a couple is the less common abnormalities.

                  And if people were killing their viable births why would they fret over the non-viable ones?

                  I am claiming that the reason people get upset about them now is because the process is highly planned and they are highly invested in the outcome.

    • Klear@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      No topic is completely off limits to jokes, but some combinations of joke and audience sure as hell are.

    • dariusj18@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I agree about timing, but moreso that that joke is dated AF, who makes DMV jokes anymore? If you’re gonna be edgy make a relatable joke, jeez.

  • Postreader2814@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    Women, “I miscarried last week, my husband and I have been trying for years and we really thought this was it.”

    Men, “You think that’s bad? Have you been to the DMV?”.

    • Kiosade@lemmy.ca
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      9 months ago

      Reminds me of that old joke about how guys will get the flu and be like “this is the worst experience anyone has ever had happen to them OMG”

      Meanwhile women and people AFAB literally have periods and may even give birth…

  • Lath@kbin.social
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    9 months ago

    Poor anon. Should’ve said that research found miscarriages to be more common than previously believed and that this specific one likely wasn’t the first and definitely not the last.
    It’s these little details that make all the difference…

    • itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      “I know this is awful, but it’ll probably happen again.”

      I don’t know, chief. Probably not the best approach.

      • Holzkohlen@feddit.de
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        9 months ago

        Look on the bright side, now you and hubby can have your DNA tested and find out how incompatible you are and that you have about a 25% chance of producing a healthy offspring. Yay, knowledge!

    • cynar@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Depending on the woman, this will either help, or shatter them.

      The actual odds are around 50% self abort. Mostly within the first month. 10-20% happen between 1 and 3 months. Critically, almost none of the risk is down to the mother. It just happens.

      I couldn’t get the fear out of my wife’s mind on this. All I could do was quantify it, and lay the groundwork that it wasn’t her fault if the pregnancy failed.

      • sizzler@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        When I had a colleague who had 3 heartbreaks, and she was expecting her 4th we treated her with proper kid gloves, no carrying, no stress. It felt like a team effort.

    • CronyAkatsuki@lemmy.cronyakatsuki.xyz
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      9 months ago

      Where I live, living with your parent’s is cheaper and better economically even your whole life, after getting married, having kids, …

      I have cousins where 4 generations of familly live together in the same house with no issues.

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        4 generations of familly live together in the same house with no issues.

        with no issues

        Hmmm

      • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I’m glad I live in a country where family value is strong and still living parents is less taboo, because the rent is too damn high. Although people who came from individualistic countries are judging. I remember ten years ago I have a friend from France who is weirded out we don’t move out even at twenty. But even if we want to, we have a housing crisis that persists to this day?

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          I think when surveyed most wanted to move out but couldn’t. Though “we have stronger family values” sure is a nicer way to look at it.

          • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Oh yeah definitely most would move out. Many of us who can afford to move out of our hometown and explore. Some don’t return but many who do settle down, and live close to our parents’ home from just down the road.

      • Flax@feddit.uk
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        9 months ago

        As long as you aren’t being a NEET. but this is a 4chan user so it’s kind of implied

      • gapbetweenus@feddit.de
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        9 months ago

        People are different, happy to hear that you have good relationship with your parents - that’s not the case for everyone. Also there people who value their privacy and personal freedom more than the convenience of living in a big family.

      • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        If you are my neighbor, there are definitely issues. That house isn’t designed for 17 people. I have no idea where y’all sleep.

  • macisr@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Lol anon’s a dumbass. I work in healthcare and miscarriages are pretty common and for most people it’s pretty easy to get pregnant again, by the story she wasn’t admitted to the hospital so the pregnancy couldn’t be very far. So it’s not that big of a deal. That said, even if it isn’t a big deal if you see someone crying you don’t crack jokes lol. Have some tact and empathy. All that if the story was real, which it isn’t.