This hit me like a week ago. I straight up panicked. I still kinda am. I don’t know what to do. I’m fucking terrified. How do you learn how to be a girl in your forties? I don’t even know how to do makeup, every time I tried it looked like shit.
I thought I was a femboy. A kinky weird femboy with a supportive girlfriend that didn’t mind the occasional dressing up. This is probably way too much for her. I think it’s too much for me. But now that I know this I can’t not know it. It’s like my subconscious just came out of nowhere and was like, “Hey you know that quirky thing about you? Well it turns out that’s entirely you, and you’re miserable trying to deny it. By the way everything in your experience tells you that people will hate you for it, and the state is actively trying to harm people like you. Also crazy people will probably want to kill you about it Byeeeeeeee!”
What do?
Edit: Thanks everyone for all the helpful comments. All this is still big and scary right now, but I feel a little better about where I am now, and the first few steps. This is a good community here.
Something I found helped with me is thinking about genders not as something I fit into but something that loosely describes me.
The words themselves are more just to give others a sense of where you stand and they also help bring like minded people together.
But they’re descriptions, they don’t define you. If you find it comfortable, and find fulfillment in doing things like a “girl” then sure go ahead. But I always think it better not to force that kinda stuff.
Just live how you want to live, live in a way that makes you happy to be you. We’re only here for so long so try to enjoy what we have.