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Apple uses automated schnapps IVs.

Transcript

[A graph with “programming skill” on the Y-axis and “blood alcohol concentration” on the X-axis. The Y-axis slowly goes down, but spikes at 0.1337%.]
[Cueball is making a presentation with the graph.]
Cueball: Called the Ballmer Peak, it was discovered by Microsoft in the 80’s. The cause is unknown but somehow a B.A.C between 0.129% and 0.138% confers superhuman programming ability.
Cueball: However, it’s a delicate effect requiring careful calibration – you can’t just give a team of coders a year’s supply of whiskey and tell them to get cracking.
Spectator: …Has that ever happened?
Cueball: Remember Windows ME?
Spectator: I knew it!

  • lars@lemmy.sdf.org
    15·
    10 months ago

    When I’m drunk, either:

    • my foreign-language-speaking skills are amazingly good, or
    • my perception of my foreign-language-speaking skills is amazingly bad
    • fkn@lemmy.world
      8·
      10 months ago

      It’s both. Your inhibitions are lower so you speak more naturally and use more words without consideration of correctness which, if you think about it, is fine generally. Native speakers of a language are amazingly good at deduction of what a non native speaker is intending. You also don’t pay attention to your mistakes, which makes the conversation flow easier for everyone.

      • Deebster@programming.devEnglish
        1·
        10 months ago

        For me, it’s also a matter speaking louder - I have a (normal, I think) tendency to say things I’m unsure of quieter, so sometimes I’ve mumbled something that was correct (or correct enough) causing the very communication problems I was worried about.

  • SuperTulle
    8·
    10 months ago

    The world needs more reposts of classic xkcd strips

  • Mikina@programming.dev
    3·
    10 months ago

    Isnt 0.14% of alcohol in blood concentration pretty high? Thats like 5 shots of 40% liquor, or 5 500ml beers.

  • FluffyPotato@lemm.ee
    2·
    10 months ago

    Microsoft must have been binge drinking since Windows 7 was released. The teams that manage the rest of their software must not even know what it’s like to be remotely sober, I’m surprised the Outlook server team hasn’t died.