I don’t know if I’m more scared of having autism or not having if.
Totally get this. Regardless of the answer, try to think of knowing the answer as another tool in your belt to help you figure out solutions to your daily struggles. Of course, knowing by itself doesn’t necessarily solve anything… but it’ll at least help point you in the right direction.
I know what you mean, I had the same contradictory feelings (diagnosed two years ago aged 29) but the assessment label doesn’t actually change anything about you, or much about life. If you have autism you’ve always had it. If you don’t, you can still use strategies that help with autistic sensitivities/limitations, a lot of the techniques for mental limitations will help pretty much anyone.
Yeah I feel like I’ll still be me after it all. It’s just that I know I’m struggling and there has to be some reason.
I can only speak to my own experience, but identifying the specific environmental issues has been far more important than knowing that my problem is autism. Two years of “yes I’m autistic but I get on fine, I don’t need special adjustments” with medication and therapy for anxiety did nothing. Six weeks of wearing sunglasses indoors and outdoors, earplugs most of the time, letting my husband know exactly how many terrible puns I think of instead of quietly assuming they’re too lame to share, and accepting that we need to hire a cleaner because I’m never going to manage the house and it’s like the depressive shroud of my entire adult life has lifted.
I hope you get the answers you need from the assessment, and I encourage you to explore what you can change about your environment regardless of what those answers are. You will get through, and things will get better 💜
Thank you
It will go alright. Just take deep breaths and try not to think about the outcome. I learned late in life at 38. It rocked me to my core but explained a lot and helped to know where I needed to go next. Do tell us how things go. I’m pulling for you.
If you use mastodon, you can also send me a message that way. I’m @ablackcatstail@mstdn.goblackcat.com
Thank you for the reassurance. I’m 35 myself. I just have a lot of anxiety speaking with people, especially for the amount of time this process will take.
It long and grueling, but I’ve done it. It’s not official, but she said she’s leaning towards me being autistic. My history is overwhelmingly typical for it
The psychologist that did my evaluation said after half an hour: “Ok, theoretically I could stop here. You are autistic. But lets finish the tests just to be thorough.” She told me that off cause that was a joke but she was already reasonably sure.
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I don’t get the official results for a while but she says it’s her personal opinion that my life history is typical for someone who is autistic.
I was really relaxed actually. It was nice to have someone to talk to.