Men on dating sites:
Posting one of the few photos of themselves they have
Posting a photo they have where they’re actually happy and feeling a sense of accomplishmentOnly to be ignored by any actual women. Guaranteed to be accosted by bots and time wasting sex workers.
I don’t know how there are any straight men left on dating sites other than the “top 10%,” of course.
I dunno either.
And people wonder why incels are a thing…
Incel is a mindset, plenty of women will look past looks for people who make them laugh, or are interesting, or who do fun things with them.
When you show women 10000 photos and ask them to choose from them, yes they’ll go for looks, that’s all the signal they get.
My advice to incels is to find some fun hobbies, could be hiking or solitary things, as long as it makes you happy. When you’re happy, people will be drawn to you. If you focus on being butter and angry, people will sense that and avoid you.
There isn’t any excuse for incel behavior. Those guys are trash.
You misunderstand. I am not excusing the incel community. Any sympathy I had for them died years ago, and frankly I think any guy who thinks women deserve retribution because they won’t sleep with them is a fucking coward.
But here’s the thing, I think it’s a horrific symptom of our societal ills, not a cause. Inceldom is an economic issue first and foremost.
We are a society that profiteers from human misery in so many ways. Men are judged quite harshly for their wealth, status and their ability to provide, even when we’ve made great strides to bring about equality between the sexes. Wealth inequality has created a predominantly male underclass. This affects many things like being able to afford a home, access to physical and mental healthcare, etc.
Another thing that I think doesn’t help is how we’ve commodified sex in so many ways, but that’s a very deep subject that would take me way too long to go into.
Online dating specifically is a monopoly headed by just two parent companies. They want your experience to be as miserable as humanly possible so that they can sucker you into paying the cost of several MMO subscriptions just to use the premium tier of their apps.
The problem isn’t women, it’s that Bumble Inc and Match Group couldn’t give a flying FUCK about the integrity of their platforms. Socially awkward people depend on these apps to find love and their world view is being poisoned by a lack of interest from anybody who isn’t a bot, sex worker, scam artist or a lady from the other side of the world seeking to marry their way into their country.
I can understand that. Thank you for expanding on it.
90% of incels would be fine if they would get out of their own heads and stop being misogynistic.
I’m 5’5" and get laid plenty, I’ve seen ugly guys get laid, guys with small dicks get laid.
It’s a personality problem.
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Nobody wants to see dead animals on dating sites. I appreciate you have hobbies but you can just list them as an interest.
I wouldn’t have though seeing fish would be such a big deal to some. Then again, never used dating sites so wouldn’t know
Oh i don’t fish. Nice assumption.
I was talking shit about this to a group of friends one day, saying that how the hell do you think that’s a good idea and one of them piped up that he had a picture of him with a fish he caught and justified it as “showing them they can provide food”. I might as well have a picture of me in the fucking grocery store with a cart full of food with that logic. I asked him to ask some of his matches what they thought about it but I dont think he ever did. Needless to say I don’t think that man has actually gotten laid in a decade.
It’s called Plenty of Fish! I thought it was a fishing site?!
It’s got plenty of phishing alright
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Monkey brain say show women fish, man good hunter, women eat good, come back to cave
A pic where he is playing with kids might actually work in that primitive sort of way.
Living in the Midwest, this is also super common on women’s dating profiles. I’d estimate probably more than 1 out of every 10 has a fish
Yeah I’ve seen that on Facebook. I don’t get it.
When do you have pics taken of you? Especially as a man it can be that you have a very limited selection of pics. Selfies are another matter.
With friends and stuff.
Look at this guy, with his friends!
I’m joking, but of my friends I’m the only one who brings a camera to stuff and takes pictures, and everybody groans when I do it. If I weren’t there there’d be no pictures, and there are no pictures of me because I’m behind the camera!
Most guys just don’t take pictures of each other.
And a lot of guys don’t honestly have that many friends. Compoud those two and you won’t have much pics of you taken.
My wife’s circle of friends is much larger than my own, so this wouldn’t surprise me.
I saw a study from Finland that said that most men only have a few friends, a lot don’t have any. I guess I’m typical in the sense that I have a few friends and we don’t see that often. So not many photos of me taken by friends.
Of course there’s cultural aspect here, we Finns are what we are and also maybe other languages or cultures use the word more casually etc. But from what I’ve seen and read online, I don’t think having zero to only few friends is a Finnish peculiarity but rather pretty common at least in the West or maybe just Northern Europe and similar-ish cultures.
Lmao
I think someone is really fishing for compliments here.
This smells a little bit fishy.
I can neither confirm nor deny the rumor that Ryan Gosling’s trailer on set always smelled of fish.
Margot, it sounds like you’re a bit jelly of the fish
I’m an actress, not a jellyfish, you silly billy!
There is no need to be on such a high perch about all this.
The last time I made anything like a profile for tinder was when I made one for PoF back in the before times, in the long-long ago, the year 2007. I didn’t have fish pictures, but I did have a picture of me riding a unicycle.
It was more effective than I expected.
It’s called plenty of fish for a reason, you’re supposed to post pictures with fish.
I think I’d enjoy that.
You gotta understand just how few pictures men have of themselves. Most of us aren’t randomly taking selfies; a lot of us don’t even have pictures of us with our friends.
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It is customary among her people that the man bring a leg of a lingta to the first courtship dinner. Make sure it’s fresh, as if you had just killed it. Then use the leg to sweep aside everything on the table and declare in a loud voice, “I have brought you this! From this day, I wish to provide food for you and your House! All I ask is to share your company and do honor to your name!”
It’s actually spelt LIngta’ but maybe closer to LIngt’a’ or to be specific a LIngt’a’ Haj’dob mev’obDeSna. Translated to English is roughly ‘I am certain that this Lingta leg will feed you’. But Klingons are lazy so it’s shortened to LIngta.
That’s what we call an attention getter!
quickly jots down notes, “go fishing… catch fish… show to barbie.” got it, now what? I’m recently single after a long marriage, HOW DO I ATRACT WOMEN?11!?!
You have women friends? Have them make your dating profile if you want to date online. Seriously. They’ll make you sound awesome while telling the truth. Chances are at least one of them is good at taking pictures.
Thanks. The comment was for comedic effect, but when I’m ready to date I’ll use this advice.
HOW DO I ATRACT WOMEN?11!?!
Excessive amounts of Axe or Old Spice. Those ads would never lie about their efficiency!
This is the helpful advice I was looking for! Heh
20 years later…. Why am I still single?!?1 I followed expert advice from Lenny!!!
Talk to them. Just put a picture of yourself smiling nicely on your dating app and listen. Be a good dude.
You effectively can’t just talk to women on dating sites. Thanks to how matching works, you have to successfully sell yourself with pictures to get your profile read, and successfully sell yourself with words in the profile before you can actually talk with anyone.
Back before matching was a thing, it wasn’t much better. You could talk but you’d usually be ignored because the woman’s inbox would be filled with too much crap for her to go through it all.
To be honest I’ve never used a dating site, I’m too old.
Lucky you.
Just put a picture of yourself smiling nicely on your dating app
About that … https://healthland.time.com/2011/05/27/advice-for-online-daters-if-youre-a-guy-dont-smile/
I can say that would turn me off.
Yeah, it’s a broad generalization, and the article is 12 years old so trends may have changed since then.
Maybe because I’m almost 50 and tired, but I just want someone who is nice to me.
I gave up after my second divorce, I hope you have better luck. Beware, most seem to be looking for free everything with no work for them.
I know a fair amount of girls from Minnesota and Oregon who would like that because they’re into fishing themselves. They grew up fishing with their fathers.
do fishkeeping
is science and more interesting
Highly agree. I love fishkeeping, so finding a dude that likes it too would be great… as long as they semi-understand what they’re talking about. No tropical fish without heaters, or tanks that aren’t properly cycled for example…
YOOOO LOOK AT DIS BARBIE! I found these fishes inside the car
Wouldn’t it be more realistic if Barbie was also Ken? Since most catfishs are dudes going for dudes?
Or is the meme referring to something else?
Yes, the meme is referring to something else.
For some reason, cishet american men on dating apps love to put a picture of themselves holding up a fish they caught while fishing as one of their dating profile pics.
Nobody really knows why that’s supposed to attract a potential dating partner, but it’s really common.
I can see it working to filter out incompatible partners.
Attraction… maybe for someone looking for a certain kind of partner.
Ah
I’d guess it should send a “see how I can provide for food even without using money” kind of way?
But yeah it’s stupid
To be fair if fishing is your passion it s normal to want to show it.
Honestly, is it so hard to believe that some people genuinely like fishing?
Honestly i think it’s much more realistic that most cishet men don’t take pictures of themselves often. But they do when they catch a fish, because that’s what fishy people do. It’s a dick-measuring contest amongst men where the dick being measured is “how big of a fish can i catch?”.
So it’s one of the only pictures you have of yourself, because men don’t tend to just take pictures of themselves just hanging out, there has to be a manly reason for men to take pictures of each other.
Also, often, men go out and fish together to get away from and complain about their partners, and usually, these fish pics come with a bunch of your friends going 👀😍🤯 at your fish.
And even if you’re not all of those negative things, it makes you far from unique. every boring cookie-cutter dude has a fish pic. look, i caught a fish, i am manly so i can provide for you with some average trout i found in a lake.
also, if this many men think “fishing is my most dating-profile worthy passion”, it says a lot. It doesn’t make you special because a good third of men on dating apps share that passion, and it honestly makes me expect a dick pic from you if i even bother matching with you. Maybe try showing off your other passions too?
You can just admit you have a general disdain for men. Maybe after admitting that, do yourself and all men a favor, and just leave men alone, lol.
I don’t have a general disdain for men. I do have a general disdain for toxic masculinity. There’s a huge difference between the two.
Look, you wanna put your fish pic in your dating profile? Go ahead. but it’s not impressive. Plenty of other men have bigger fish pics on their profile, and they’re equally unimpressive to anyone who isn’t into fishing.
I’ve never met another woman who had anything positive to say about a man on a dating site with fish pictures. Met plenty of other women who are equally as confused as i am about fish pics. Never even anyone saying “look how cute he is being proud of catching some fish of some size, isn’t he cute?”.
fishing isn’t a substitute for a personality.
Your entire comment you posted is just shitting on men and attributing the worst possible reasons you can imagine to them posting a fish photo. You continue in your second response to shit on men just because you don’t enjoy a particular hobby some have.
It’s more a “I’m a manly dude who is good at catching fish! I enjoy leisure time on lakes and I have a boat!” than a promise that they’ll eat the fish. At least half the time it’s catch and release fishing anyway.
This - and besides, industrialists have polluted almost every lake and river so that eating those fish might kill you slowly. Being able to both catch and cook is an exhilarating experience when out in nature, though.
Yeah, where I used to live up north, even very remote lakes were poisoned with mercury said to be from coal burning in China. People were advised to not eat fish from the lake more than a few times a week or once a week for certain fish. So… tons of people just ignore that or don’t even know about it because they either don’t really understand or believe it, have poor information sources, enjoy the experience, or it’s all they can afford.
As someone who does not use dating apps, it seems to me that a lot of men who are not city dwellers get lots of joy out of fishing. It seems rather insulting to demean someone for showing one of their favorite activities to potential mates. To those who would do that, I would ask why not simply move on quietly?
Now that I think of it, those men are dodging bullets like Neo. Smart guys. If I ever decide to put myself out there, I’m putting up pictures of myself at a campground with a fishing rod and bicycle in the background. That should weed out any women who expect four star resorts, expensive restaurants, and expensive toys for their mere presence.
I think you’re misunderstanding the point of the whole meme, and by extension, what i have been saying. It may be more common for country dwellers, but it’s also incredibly common for city dwellers.
There is also never a woman in any of these pics. It’s usually a dude with a bunch of other dudes. I understand that it might be your hobby, and there’s nothing wrong with that being your hobby.
But if it’s a hobby you only share with other dudes and not your partners, and it’s the only hobby on your dating profile, and it’s the most common “only hobby i have pictures of myself doing” for men on dating sites, then at least one of the following isnt probably true:
- you’re not differentiating yourself from any other dude in my inbox
- you’re showing off to me that, even if you do have other hobbies, you’re probably not going to take pictures of me/us doing them, and i’m not even sure if you have any hobbies that i would be into, if i am not into fishing
- you don’t think any other hobbies are important enough for a partner to care about, except fishing
- you don’t take a lot of pictures of yourself having fun in general. the only reason that fish pic was taken is because you were proud of it in a way that your other masculine friends could take a picture of you without making fun of you
again, i’m speaking from experience on dating apps, and from anecdotes from other women i know. It is incredibly common (i would guess, as a city girl, who only matches with other people in my city, and not surrounding rural areas, at least 20-40%) for a picture of you fishing with your guy friends to be the only picture of you doing anything you enjoy.
Even if that’s your primary hobby, there’s dozens of other dudes in my inbox for whom that is their only hobby that they care enough to take pictures of.
Otherwise you’re just showing me 3-4 face (and/or, for some reason, shirtless) pics and a pic of you fishing with your bros. It’s not appealing, and it’s far from unique. You’ve also not shown me anything we can do together, and your profile mentions nothing else either.
And no, i’m not looking for a man to take me to four star restaurants or whatever else you think i’m after. I make good enough money to cover my needs and hobbies and treat both myself and my partner with nice stuff and experiences. I want someone who is going to spend time with me, with whom i share hobbies, interests, and ideals.
I have a serious question for you. If a man is looking for a woman on a dating site, why would he post a bunch of pictures with women? I mean, it seems like it would raise more issues.
Do you want to see other women in his pictures to show that he is dateable? Maybe you want to compare yourself to his past relationships? As a man, I would not post pictures of me with women when I’m looking for a woman. The whole point is to highlight me and my eligibility, not raise questions of whether I’m a womanizer looking for my next conquest.
Then again, maybe that’s what you’re looking for? Someone who’s cool, and has lots of women hanging around him? I don’t know.
However, I do agree that if all he has on the profile is fishing, he’s probably not doing much else. I’d include a whole lot more stuff.
Funny thing is, what you say you seek is what I used to seek, but somehow I always ended up broke and overworked when i was with women. Maybe you’re one of the good ones I never found. Oh, well.
I don’t
I’m just unattractive.
Like oh hey, I have a house and a job and a really cute kid and here’s one where I’m wearing a winter coat in 109F weather to show I’m funny
honestly I realize that dating apps are pretty much a scam.
Actually, they’re so much of a scam I’m sitting here with my AI assistant and webstorm and thinking about how I’d make a more legitimate dating website and it would just end up making me money by selling useless services to desperate singles too busy to meet other people
You’re not “just unattractive”.
For one, there is no such thing as a line above which someone is attractive vs unattractive, at least not in general. Different people find different physical qualities attractive.
For two, physical attraction isn’t as important as you’re trying to pretend it is. Sure, to some people it is super important, possibly the most important aspect. Most people connect emotionally. Being pretty can get your foot in the door, but not much else.what are your standards for attractiveness? Are you willing to date someone who you think is as physically attractive as you see yourself?
Being pretty can get your foot in the door, but that’s it. You don’t build a relationship on “well i’m attractive so that’s why my partner wants to be with me”. Those relationships are empty and meaningless. Stop worrying about how physically attractive you think you are, and focus more on what makes you unique as a person, and what your passions are. You still won’t be guaranteed success, but you’ll be a lot more likely to find someone who vibes with you.
As for the scam bit? These companies often do have shady practices, they make money when people use it to date; they lose money when people find love and stop dating. But you can’t pay a company more to make other humans more attracted to you. If that’s how you see it, it will always be a “scam”. If you treat it as just a way to meet people, it’s a completely different story.
You can pay a dating app more money to make you visible to more people, but it won’t make you more appealing to the people on it.
Sure, you have a house, a job, and a child. Lots of people do. what are your passions? what drives you? what do you do when you have time completely to yourself? What brings you joy outside of dating?
job and life status don’t make us interesting except to superficial people. our passions and the things we love do. follow your passions. share those with the people you want to date. your pictures and how physically attractive you are are practically meaningless.
We just don’t have a lot of photos of ourselves, I’d imagine even less selection if you only count recent photos since that’s probably what you would want to put on a dating profile.
I agree. Take more pictures of yourself out having fun. especially if that fun involves both men and women (assuming you’re a straight man looking for a woman). Show potential partners things you want to do with them, not things you want to do with your bros to get away from them.
Take more pictures of yourself. Have your bro friends take pictures of you while you’re out. Tell them you want them to because it’ll help your dating site profile.
If you don’t have pictures of yourself, you probably won’t have many pictures of either me or us if we were together. Take more pictures. Get friends to take pictures of you. Get pictures of yourself having fun, not just showing off whatever fish you just caught.
You didn’t take that fish pic because you wanted a picture of yourself. You took it because you wanted a picture of the fish. You’re only in the damn pic yourself to prove it was you who caught the fish, there would be no picture of you if there was no fish.
well if it would work for me it should work for women, right?
