I have so many friends who would 100% be labeled as an incel if they were men. They hold men to impossibly high standards while meeting none of those standards themselves.

For example, women living with parents while expecting men to have their own place, women who are obese but are only interested in fit men, working part time while expecting a man who has a career, refusing to drive and expecting men to chauffeur them around, expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day, etc.

The worst part is, calling out this inequality will 100% get any man labeled as an incel. We’re expected to either deal with it or be alone forever.

This is NOT to undermine the very real issues women have to deal with, for example the loss of bodily autonomy in the US. But this is still an issue worth discussing and nobody is talking about it.

  • Album@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    while expecting a man who has a career, refusing to drive and expecting men to chauffeur them around, expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day, etc.

    This is the most incel thing i’ve read in a while. I don’t know a single woman like this. If you do, you’re hanging around with the wrong crowd and that’s on you. If you don’t then you’re just eating up incel bullshit to feel better about your own lackings.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yeah I’m a woman who dates women and the closest thing I’ve ever seen to that with even a little frequency is disabled women and stay at home moms who try to get out and spend basically all day in household labor. And honestly they’ve all had reasonable standards for partners.

      Like I’m sure some women like this exist, and I’ve seen FDS over on Reddit. But just don’t date them. The FDS folks are frequently mocked and condemned. And I think their expectations of partners are ludicrous and that they have a lot of the same beliefs as incels, but they aren’t complaining about no men wanting to fuck them last I saw, mostly they were talking about how women need their insane standards and shouldn’t date without them. Which like, whatever if that’s what it takes for a relationship with you have fun, it sure sounds like you don’t actually want a relationship though, just money and status.

      Incels were a joke until they started spreading far right bullshit and raping and shooting people. FDS is a joke now, if they break containment or start engaging in mass shootings then we can start comparing them.

    • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.eeOP
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      1 year ago

      I’ve never needed an abortion, does that mean I should disregard other people’s experiences and not want them to have access to abortions?

      It may shock you to learn this. But different people have different experiences. And just because you personally haven’t experienced something doesn’t mean it’s not real.

      • Album@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        How are those things even remotely comparable?

        Are you saying that by my identification of your general attitude towards women - generalizing them all as do-nothing, expect everything - somehow is the same as denying that people need abortions?

        The problem with incels is their lack of self introspection and the assignment of all their problems to an external cause - a small percentage of society with unrealistically high standards - which is not something even specific to women.

        A well adjusted person just thinks - “Gee i don’t want to associate with that type of person and I understand that it’s a small subset of the total population of women. Let me work towards finding women who have realistic expectations which is the majority while simultaneously looking at myself to understand why women with realistic expectations might still not be interested in me”

        Vs the incel who gets on the internet to rage that all women are staceys and are only interested in chads. The problem isn’t me it’s everyone else!

        • ElleChaise@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          your general attitude towards women - generalizing them all as do-nothing, expect everything -

          Album, breathe. You’re the only one who’s making this post about that. What you’re doing is exactly like when incels get mad and brigade the feminist forums to say “not all men”.

          • Album@lemmy.ca
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            1 year ago

            For example, women living with parents while expecting men to have their own place, women who are obese but are only interested in fit men, working part time while expecting a man who has a career, refusing to drive and expecting men to chauffeur them around, expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day, etc.

            OP’s words verbatim.