• RudeOnTuesdays@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    So, is Satan so busy that he only gets to fuck once a year? Or is Halloween the one day of the year he’s not practicing safe sex?

    I never thought about this before, but it seems somehow important.

    • Buffaloaf@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Also, “his bride”? Not his wife or girlfriend? Does he get married to a new person every year?

      • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        This whole situation feels too oddly wholesome for these people to be so upset. Straight? Check. Married? Check. Planned and wanted pregnancy from someone with a lot of power? Check! The father is the literal devil? Fuck that, apparently! Get out of here, you model-citizen demon!

        Also, to whomever wrote that note: I’m glad y’all don’t like walking in front of my house. You’re literally the worse. I’d rather hang out with Satan and his bride than you judgmental prudes.

        • AdamHenry@discuss.tchncs.de
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          1 year ago

          I have no scientific proof, but people that act out like this always have something to hide. The first boss I ever had would come in every day and quote from the Bible during the last 15-20 minutes of my shift. I actually fell for his rap and believed that he was a righteous God fearing family man. I was sixteen and somewhat religious myself. One day I got up from my desk as I needed some office supplies. As I walked by his deserted secretary’s desk and neared his door, I was just about to knock when I heard him softly calling out to God. I paused for a second thinking that it might not be a good time to interrupt as he might be reading the Bible. As I stood there like a dummy, I quickly realized he was getting a blowie from his secretary. This event made a huge impact on me and I quit a few days later.

        • Daft_ish@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I’m more scared of the person who would write this letter and their apparent torch lit mob than of “satan”.

        • WolfdadCigarette@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          I couldn’t help but imagine a gargantuan crimson horror beyond human imagination, with tears in its eyes and phlegm flowing from various orifices, exasperatedly yelling “what else do I have to do to make you people like me!?”

      • RudeOnTuesdays@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Maybe it’s a “bride of Frankenstein” thing. More of a title than anything.

        Though this is the devil they’re talking about. Satan could be getting divorced every year and remarrying, or just straight up adding a new “sister-wife” annually.

        I legit have not thought this much about real world religion in years.

          • x4740N@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I wonder if Satan is open to adoption, plenty of people have been called the child of Satan so why not make it official

          • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I am betting not many. What are the odds that hell doesn’t have a for profit healthcare system? Slim to none especially given where health insurance adjusters end up.

        • DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          I’M THE HEAD DEMON PRINCE OF HELL WITH A CUTE HAREM OF GIRLS BUT CAN ONLY HAVE ONE BRIDE?!!

          Anime title writers: “write that down write that down!”