I kind of ended my relationship with me now ex this year, I’m into another relationship, it was just a lot of shit, poverty, mental illness, other stuff combined, it was absolutely the worst time for when we tried that.
I love the person with whom I am now, it’s nothing related to them, but fuck, Jesus Christ, some times the memories just kill you, it was a lot of years, it was a lot of things, how do I even exist after this? I know I’m not a person who know very well how to get over the past, but this kind of thing just feels like something that will accompany me to my grave.
You will always have memories. Why wouldn’t you? You remember your ancestors, even the ones you didn’t meet but have pictures and stories about. You’ll always remember everyone that mattered to you. Dialectically, you are composed of your relationships. You are nothing but your relationships to everything and everyone else.
How do you exist after this? Experience it fully. That’s what it is to be human. Grieve the loss. Get angry at the betrayals and slights and oppressions. Find comfort in the acceptances and the kindness. Learn from the experiences. Be more fully human and more fully you.