Just think about it. You’re born filthy rich. You inherit 500 million dollars, in the 1980’s. You learn to live off of loans from banks, how to inflate the worth of your “properties,” and how to deflate the worth of your “properties” to scam banks, because unlike your father, you’re an absolute moron when it comes to making an honest buck. Even with the army of lawyers and accountants you inherited from dad.

So when American and European banks stop loaning you money because you default on all your loans, you need a new source of income. Your best bud Super New York Mayor Man ruined your daddy’s connections with the Pizza Guys, so when some guy who sounded like Chekov from Star Trek called and said he wanted to buy 50 condos at the same time, you knew God was Real.

Life was good. You still hadn’t made a single honest buck, but boy did those Russian guys like their condos. You even had your own TV show, where everyone could see how much you loved being a bully and an asshole. You even had your own beauty contest, and saw lots and lots of that sweet, sweet 18 year old T and A.

You. Had. It. Made. Millions of dollars. Eastern Block ex-porn wife who couldn’t stay off of the phone with someone named Vlad.

It could have went on until you had your stroke on your gold plated shitter.

But no, your ego is so fragile, you’re such a raging narcissist than you have to play King of the World, too.

What a fucking idiot.

Edit: I didn’t mean to imply Fred Trump was honest. I meant that he actually made his money, unlike Donald, who inherited his.