“Commander, I did a level 5 scan of the bridge turbolift controls, and I noticed there’s a couple of unnecessary and dangerous flamethrowers in there. So I thought…”
“Stop asking stupid questions. This is why you’re still an Ensign, Harry.”
Bridge console engineers: … oh wow look at this guys … liquid napalm is a great electrical conductor … we should use this amazing liquid to power these consoles
Warp core engineers: we need redundancies and safeguards here, here, and here
Bridge console engineers: don’t forget the high-voltage rail and the concussive feedback blasters
Chair engineers: fuck seatbelts wooooo
Also: this console doesn’t have enough rocks inside of it. And you call that a ceiling? I don’t see a single loose girder in there!
Ah yes, the flamethrowers, a key component of good console design!
“Commander, I did a level 5 scan of the bridge turbolift controls, and I noticed there’s a couple of unnecessary and dangerous flamethrowers in there. So I thought…”
“Stop asking stupid questions. This is why you’re still an Ensign, Harry.”
Safety studies showed that seatbelts lead to a lot of injuries to helms staff being struck by the rocks they fill the LCARs control boards with.
If the inertial dampers fail, wouldn’t the seat belt just cut you in half anyway?
If they were going fast enough for that to happen they would be launched toward the front of the ship anyway, and we don’t see that happening.
It’s obvious that the inertial dampers never fail 100%
Bridge console engineers: … oh wow look at this guys … liquid napalm is a great electrical conductor … we should use this amazing liquid to power these consoles
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