former bed side nurse here on sick leave till the end of the month. I should start my new job away from patients with normal working hours on October 1st.
I feel drained, even though I eat and sleep well, the best I’ve slept in months, my circadian rhythm is that of a normal human being, I can cook, go shopping, I even play some hobbies now.
Nobody yells at me or makes passive aggressive or backhanded remarks for me to hear.
The 1st. of October is a week away and I don’t believe I’ll be a fully functioning human being by then, most probably I’ll ask for a 2 week sick leave extension.
what worked for you to go back to your normal self?
Burn out takes up to two years to recover from, so a few weeks is really not enough to recover.
Consider watching this video (or don’t, it did make me cry when I was needing to leave patient care).
so I’m going to have a way to work and sustain myself while doing some therapy?
Did you do therapy or simply started your new job and somehow your brain forgot that part of your former life? Talked to friends?
I’ll watch the video now
Luckily I had somewhat more minor versions of the feelings (I was toast) previously, and had been in therapy at that time. While it wasn’t the focus of the therapy it obviously came up and I had some coping strategies already in place by the time my serious burn out came around.
I agree with what other people said about adding very different feeling things into your life and reducing the things that feel similar. I also have (counterintuitive but bear with me) fairly regular things in my life (I’m a creature of habit) and leaning into those habits really carried me through. I couldn’t make a decision to save my life, but if it was Tuesday I went dancing and Mon/Wed/Fri are strength days and my wife always wants to do happy hour on Friday, so things happened because they always happened if that makes sense.
It sucks because these things are ideally in place before the burnout. When you need them most it’s the hardest to do.
Burnout has lasting effects. The only effective antidote is rest until rest actually leads to recovery once again. I have struggled with actually resting, as opposed to merely pausing, but feeling anxious about the next batch of commitments to try to live up to.
The quality of your rest is likely to determine what happens next. Rest the best and deepest you can.
Peace.
as opposed to merely pausing,
this is the worst. knowing the shitstorm you stepped away from is going to be a shitstorm when you return, and knowing you can’t influence it but know it’s coming means you can’t actually rest.
have been through this extensively. good point.
One of the things that I took from therapy was to stop and really consider how much influence I had over specific outcomes and then dive even more deeply into how much influence I had over specific outcomes at specific points in time.
I might have 85% control over x component of my job generally while I’m physically present. But do I have any control over it at 3AM while I’m at home? No, there’s 0% control and not way to change that, it’s better to save my energy to deal with it in the near future than stressing/ruminating about it right now.
This is a result of 3 rounds of therapy each running about 3 years, one of them including group mindfulness meditation followed by group therapy in addition to individual therapy. It’s not easy, but it is possible. I also strongly believe it’s worth it.
I have no advice, I’d just like to congratulate you on leaving a toxic work environment. A lot of people ask for coping advice that will help them tolerate their lousy job, when what they really need to do is get the hell out of there.
You truly have to find what helps you. For some people it’s minimal activity and relaxation, for others it’s something frantic and crazy(but not their job), some people turn to sex and relationships, others turn towards absolute control, while someone else may prefer to fully relinquish control of everything and just plain let another person be in control of every aspect of their life.
Being burned out takes a while to figure out sometimes. I personally want to be 70 feet under water on a reef every chance I get so I don’t have to think about or really deal with people. Nature often helps people who are in jobs where they are stuck indoors and time with very few people and minimal communication if they normally deal with a constant stream of people. Basically the polar opposite of their job.
Going for a walk in a park our on a beach is a good place to start it you can. Find something that allows your mind to just exist and be a part of your surroundings. In a pinch you may find that searching for an asmr nature video may help if you can’t figure out what you want to do or don’t have easy access. Sometimes it’s about finding your element. If the idea of being in water sets you on edge and stresses you out it’s probably not going to help, at the same time if you don’t like heat going for a jog in a desert won’t be your cup of tea either.
Rest for the mind. Anything that lets me not think and just kind of exist.
Long baths with nice-smelling bath bombs, meditation, even just deciding with intention “okay, this evening I’m just going to lay in bed and watch this set of YouTube documentaries that looks interesting, and if I fall asleep for a bit, I’ll just rewind when I wake up.” Put on an album and listen to it start to finish, and either let it wash over you or let yourself get lost in the little details.
I tend to “relax” by starting new projects, so finding ways to actually relax has been hard. If you’re a little bored and understimulated, you’re on the right track.
Good luck. Medical work is really, really hard, and I hope your new job is a hell of a lot better!
thank you
I don’t really know the context here, but what’s normal to you? Like, what specifically are you trying to get back to?
I don’t want to go to work dreading having to go to work, I don’t want to think about how I’m going to be yelled at, what snarky remarks I’m gonna have to hear, what coworkers are going to lazy around while I work and their sit on their asses, I don’t want to prepare a working plan for the day only to be completely ignored by a coworker that, while not my superior, feels and acts like it only because she’s been there longer than me.
I don’t want to go to work in fear.
this looks like PTSD now.
I want to go to work to do the job to the best of my abilities feeling rested, to do my pauses as stipulated in the contract, to avoid drama and go home.
Do you think another career path would alleviate these issues, or do you feel like any job you go into you’ll have these fears?
this is bed nursing specific
Find out the root cause. Not that that’s easy, I agree. However you need to find out why it happens to be able to address it.
For me it is autism. Just saying since the causes can vary wildly and be totally unexpected.
