… On one day recently, CNN watched as task force members arrested a suspected drug dealer accused of selling meth and fentanyl. Inside a plastic bag: 33 grams of fentanyl that CHP officer Andy Barclay estimates, at its worst, could potentially kill thousands of people.
    “We’re looking at around 16,500 fatal doses of pure fentanyl in that small bag. Yes, 16,500 people could potentially die,” Barclay said.

    I’ve seen this before — stick a microphone in a policeman’s face after a fentanyl bust, and they’ll claim they’ve prevented thousands of imaginary deaths.
    There was one report after a raid some months back where a cop said they’d prevented half a million deaths.
    It’s all bullshit, like the War on Drugs hysteria always is.
    Thanks for the laughs, Officer Andy.

  • Doug Holland@lemmy.worldOP
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    1 year ago

    Salt Warrior — the hero for our times — saves thousands of lives every time it’s fast-food for lunch.

    • rockSlayer@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      angle cut to the big bad. The music skips a beat 3 times. Dramatic shot with a sharp outline of the bigbad’s face. Speaks maniacally

      Yesss It’S ALL coMing to pLaN. It was GENius to front as a fast food business to hide my chlorine gas lab! With this last serving of salt, my work will be complete!!!

      Shop door opens, the electric bell rings. Sudden cut to the back room of a McDonald’s, with the hamburglar crouched over a chemistry set. One packet of unopened salt sits on the table. Hamburglar stands and walks to the front, looking at the customer.

      Ronald McDonald: hi! One order fries please, extra salty!

      Camera cuts behind Ronald at a heroic angle. Ronald turns to face the camera. Gives thumbs up while speaking

      It’s all in a day’s work to stop the Hamburglar’s evil plot! You can be a hero like me by ordering our delicious salty food!

      Flash cut to events that have been recalled a thousand times before. The music swells with the dramatic hero theme. The camera cuts to Ronald shedding a tear. Camera cuts to Ronald approaching the counter.

      It’s all comes down to this. All this training, all this struggle. Finally. It means it’s not for nothing!

      Music swells again. Cut to more repeatable scenes. Monologue to fade out. The outro begins playing. ‘To be continued’ appears on screen. End credits