Tl:dR: How can I deal with my hypersensibility without becoming a non-empathic and cold person?

Hey everyone,

I need some advice on what to do. I‘m a 21 yo trans woman in a trans lesbian relationship. My girlfriend (26) is the most wonderful and beautiful person I know. She is truly one of a kind.

Now, my gf is struggling with dysphoria a lot because she had a pretty rough „male puberty“. She has some aspects of her face or her body that she is extremely insecure about. It also adds that her right side of her face is paralyzed, so she can‘t have an even smile and one eye is always a bit more open and she can‘t close that one really. She sees herself as ugly. I‘ll be honest, when I first met her, she looked „weird“ but I couldn’t care less! She is such a beautiful woman and I love her. I also never really cared about looks overall. Personality is so much more important to me!

Now, I‘m diagnosed with potential ROCD, BPD, have ADHD and high functioning autism. Someone really wanted to freaking nerf me. I‘m also extremely hypersensitive. Could be part of my bpd as far as I know, the potential diagnosis is still very fresh.

Now to my problem: In moments like these, where she‘s really dysphoric and hates her body overall (mind you we are both passing in public btw), I really feel her pain. So much it drags me down too. I currently feel like shit. In those moments she really needs to be alone and deal with it alone. I‘d be there for her for whatever she needed.

Now, that this draggs me down too, doesn’t help her. Like, at all. She doesn’t want me to feel bad. Of course I wanna help her and I will always be there for her but she says what she needs is alone time so I‘m giving her that.

But how do can I protect myself? How can I deal with my hypersensibility without becoming a non-empathic and cold person?

Thank you for reading ^^