- cross-posted to:
- crumbgrabber@lemm.ee
- cross-posted to:
- crumbgrabber@lemm.ee
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Cant believe im posting this.
Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. so if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of your 8 limbed friend, you can debeak it like how you’d declaw a cat and then push your member into it’s feed chute.
You can then let it subsist on your baby batter.
The Octopus is smart. Very smart. It will learn that without it’s beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you.
Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half.
The sensation creeps up your body until most of the jiggly mass has enveloped the entire length. It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry.
The animal gyrates its empty stomach and the folds of its brain rubbing on your glans, begging for nutrition.
You climax and give the marine creature’s breakfast. The pumping slows down but doesn’t stop to milk out the last few drops of its meal.
Looking into its yellow animal eyes, it looks back with a thousand-yard stare. This will be routine for all of its meals for the rest of it’s 3-5 years on this god forsaken planet.
I can’t believe I just read this. And don’t want to ask where it came from
New tentacle kink dropped.
Sometimes I like not being human
Found The Deep
On other things fish, some fish are more than 8" long, self lubricating and relatively round.
This makes me think the idea my coworker and I had to start our own business would be really profitable. We both have experience with mold making. And sex toys are a huge industry. What is an underrepresented category we could make a market for? Fish.
Fuck-A-Fish we would call it. Fleshlite-esque fish to bang. All different kinds. Realistically modeled and painted. And we would have a whole line of products to use with them. Like Love Chum, a textured lubricant.
Fishlite was right there dude.
He’s just going to insert a cylinder into the fish. Note, the cylinder canNOT be cut. That’s why he wants no teeth.
Please do not the fish
Probably some kind of baleen whale. Really don’t want to stick your dick in that.
Sandiego!..translated to whale’s vagina.
whale
Haha! Derpy doo. Brain not present.
Hey, that’s u/Striking_Analysis656!
Ah, that legendary character
I was looking for this, I knew it would arrive.
where is this from?
Code Geass. The text is supposedly from a bad fan translation.
“Supposedly” implies it could be legit.
next question: how can I remove a cylinder from a fish
quagmire, is that you?
Stupid question.
But whats the fish with the rather mediocre sized mouth and no teeth?
Asking for a friend
I’m looking for a fish wish a below average mouth full of teeth.
Your local pet store probably has some bettas for you
Perfect fit in more ways than one
Never has this been more appropriate
Asking for a friend. The friend is his penis
I heard he fucked an ostrich
Allegedly.
Heard it was a sick ostrich
It’d take at least two people to fuck an ostrich
…Three, even
Again, it was a sick ostrich.
…allegedly.
Three things CuddlyCassowary. I hit you, you hit the ground, the ambulance hits 60.
Assuming a liberal definition of fish (I doubt this guy cares about scientific classifications), that would be a blue whale
Just like to point out, there is no scientific definition of fish. It doesn’t make sense from a evolutionary perspective (many types of fish are evolved from land animals and vice versa).
However if you categorize it as animals that with gills, you lose a bunch of animals typically considered fish like several species of amphibious fish, while including many animals not typically considered fish, like several frogs. Then there is of course lungfish with both lungs and gills, and fish with other breathing organs entirely.
Many biologist therefore argue that even whales should be considered fish despite being mammals, i don’t remember the exact reasoning though, but i think it’s related to evolution and the clade(s) they belong to.
Sorry for pulling the “um ashtuly” card, just a big autistic nerd.
So, which one has large mouth and no teeth?
Land animals are land fish. You can not evolve out of a clade, therefore all land creatures are cladistically a type of fish, as well as land animals that became water animals again.
I’m a fish, you’re a fish, we’re all fish. And worms!
If the subset of cladists that don’t think that’s true have a problem with it they should reconsider whether they actually like cladistics, because they’re rejecting evolution to deny it and embracing vibe based classification which kind of defeats the whole point.
But, of course, that’s the thing with clades, it’s all relative. Yes, we’re all fish/worms, but generally speaking when someone’s talking about fish vs whales you know they’re talking about those loser fish who never left the ocean vs the land chads who went back to the ocean solely to bully them because the distinction is useful.
Hell yeah! Fuck paraphyletic groups!
I would like to know where you could reasonably buy a blue whale. That would be amazing.
Scotland, apparently:
My god, it’s John McAfee!
Ah you came to the right place my friend! Shoot me a dm and we can negotiate a price.
We don’t offer delivery though, you’ll have to bring your own ship
