I’m here to tell you, don’t worry about it. You yourself are not a disability and don’t think that you’re unlovable or that you won’t find anyone just because of it. If somebody tells you otherwise, then they’re just not the right one :>

Don’t lose hope, your disability does not define you as a person and I’m sure that you’ll find somebody who understands you 🫂

I’m chronically ill. So is my partner. We help each other, utilize our strengths and weaknesses. I’ve been with “healthy” people and I find them to generally be less mentally tough. Not weaker, per se, just not as tough. I could not ever get by as well as I do without the toughness that our chronic illnesses has instilled into us.

I’m too far removed from my 20s be able to comment on your immediate future, but I can offer you hope for the slightly farther future.

As we get older, with regard to our mental and physical health, we’re all broken in some way. Some of use are like you with conditions that have been with them from childhood. Others pick up their brokenness from daring behavior in their 20s. By your 30s your warranty has expired and when things break, they never fully heal. By your 40s most of us are already dealing with at least one chronic health condition, many of them life shortening/threatening. In your 50s you have a growing list of peers that you knew growing up that have already died.

Human aging is brutal. It eventually takes your mobility, dietary choices, mental capacity, and your pain free life. You may have an advanced start on some of your peers in your early 20s, but they will join you soon. You are not now, nor will you every be alone. Everyone grows more like you every day of their lives. There aren’t fewer candidates for partners for you, there is an ever increasing number of them every single day.

I have no direct answer.

Regarding health I was and still am in a similar position. What helped me was educating myself about the issue I’ve had and still have (less).

Running the risk of looking like cultist i can suggest the YouTube channel “dr Berg dc”.

He’s Not a professional in the things he teaches, but his input has educated and sensibilized (wth) me to be able to know what to do and how to help myself.

His new videos tend to be more and more clickbaity. He delivers always the info tho.

I suggest you simply search youtube for a symptom followed by the channel name. He covers a wide range of issues.

“Maybe I can just gaslight myself into being okay.”

“Oh, wait. That’s just cognitive behavioral therapy.”

My wife is chronically ill, we’ve been together for 8 years :) you’ll find someone

My husband has cerebral palsy. My disabilities are less visible. So it’s possible to meet other people still? Unsure if local game stores survived covid but that’s where I met him like 20 years ago

One of my best friends has Asperger’s and Schizophrenia, and has agoraphobia so he’s essentially a shut-in, and is a recovering drug addict and he still met and married someone.

If he can pull it off, you can too.

My partner is chronically ill and disabled. I am not, we have been together for 5 years. Don’t get me wrong it can absolutely be difficult and it was at first but its routine now and I’m genuinely unbothered. Being inconvenienced sometimes is nothing if it means spending my life with them. I am also in my twenties

I would suggest taking this issue up with a professional therapis, and not random internet strangers that are most likely AI, corporate astroturfers, government agents, or some combination of the three. We are not here because we want to help you, we’re just the ones that happened to be browsing the public forums at this moment in time. So your answers will vary wildly. I strongly recommend not using the internet to solve mental health problems. Social media can give you validation so you feel good, and we can also bully you so you feel bad, but we can’t reliability help you find a partner.

Do I think you will find someone? I don’t know. How could I possibly know that? Pointless question. How could any of us know for certain what is or isn’t going to happen to you?

Yes, it is possible for anyone to find someone. There are countless stories and historical events describing such things. The concept that love extends beyond physical and practical attraction is something that you are likely already aware of. If you know this to be true, but you don’t believe the evidence, then your issue is psychological. Social media is not the tool to use to permanently solve these types of issues, it can only provides temporary relief.

My partner is experiencing mobility issues. Not terrible, but not great, given that we originally bonded over shared hikes. It took a lot of years and many failed relationships and many strike-outs to get here, but we’re very happy. So, just don’t give up. Good luck!

Edit: strikethrough on “just” because it minimizes the experience and it’s actually quite challenging.

I can only feel confidence and control if I have a solid, well-reasoned belief that I can succeed and my actions are meaningful.

But you have to stop assuming that these things are working against you this strongly. Maybe the evidence is there through other people’s rejections, even if some made it point-blank to you. But for me personally, mobility challenges (assuming these are what you mean) are not a reason for me to not consider someone; in fact, they’re irrelevant relative to, as you so well-worded it, “anyone who shares [your] values.”

So there you have it: I’m proof that there’s more out there for you than “blind hope.” I don’t have a completed success story for you as I myself continue to quietly look for a lovely lady, but am sort of giving up (but not because of a personal physical challenge!).

My girlfriend has arthritis. She is often in pain, needs regular stretches and massages to get through a day. Her state varies. Some days he’s fit, out, and about like a healthy person for hours. Towards the evening though, she can be very slow to get up the stairs. She has difficulties carrying heavy things and is pretty short to boot. She has a couple of other health problems as well. However, her charm and enthusiasm are outstanding. She has the ability to make everybody smile and encourages other people’s ideas. Her skills in teaching meditation are also impressive. Personality can offset looks and physical deficiencies.

hyperindividualism, and that anyone who shares my values

The solution to this is community. If you join a community and demonstrate your ability to be useful, you will gain status and prove your worth as a partner.

lacking confidence

It’s possible to develop that using personal mental spiritual development, as well as learning skills. Progress in these areas will help your confidence. You just have to put in the time to learn and practice.

in my early 20s

You’re still young. I met the love of my life in my 40s.

I have a close friend who met her spouse through a support group for a medical condition they both have. While each new diagnosis is a challenge, it can also be a new avenue to connect with other people. Get into support groups, advocacy and related activities and let those communities help you feel less alone. With that, you will naturally meet and mingle with others who understand your situation, and that’s how you find a romantic partnership.

Its about personality, if you’re a shining light for people and social enough you’ll find someone!