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oooh, I like your way of thinking! Maybe combine that modern approach with the tradition of guillotines not always finishing them off first time around, and, you know, feed them feet-first into the tree shredder possibly still squirming
I’m also a fan of giving em the 'ol Gallagher treatment. Potentially a combo, with a spectacular ending!
Shoot them to the sky as fireworks! Let their remains be scattered to the winds! Let nothing remain of them, lest it be endless loathing!
Scattering to the winds to be returned to the soil as nutrients for new life
Just replace the blade with a large stone or metal block and aim a little higher. Watch out for the splash.
We can finally get authentic sound effects instead of sacrificing watermelons, win-win :D