• qyron@sopuli.xyz
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    13 hours ago

    Allow me to share a small personal story. An anecdote, as it is often called.

    I was home for ten years with my children. I changed diapers, took care of meals and chores, and when it was time for it, I took my children to pre-school.

    Being a stay at home father, being present for my children, was trampled on by teachers and the mothers of other children. It was disrespectful, demeaning. I was unwelcomed and unwanted. Some even tried to create a narrative that I was a danger to the children.

    Women were more vitriolic and systematic in their gender affirmation than men.

    That is extremely sad and telling.

    The guy in the post is an idiot and being told to shut up and told off, followed by perhaps a couple of punches to the teeth would be enough to get him to stay quiet.

    Women would not be so easy to handle.

    • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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      11 hours ago

      This. I’m trans and I’ve existed in public as both a man and a woman.

      Nothing is more soul-crushing than being called The Devil simply for being of a sex that isn’t even one you want to be!

      One of the few Right Wing talking points that I sort of agree with is the idea that men are demonized just for existing, because they REALLY are. I’m not surprised men are responding with hostility to being told their very masculinity is toxic.

      Don’t get me wrong, Dudebros are still fucking awful, but… “I get it” if that makes sense.

      Doesn’t mean I recommend anyone takes Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson’s advice and no incels are not based, but… damn ya know.

      • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
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        38 minutes ago

        Feminists missed out and are continuing to miss out on an opportunity to bridge the gap. Men aren’t choosing Tate and Peterson because they’re the best version of masculinity, they’re choosing them because they’re some of the only people telling men you don’t have to hate yourself, and they’re acknowledging that things really are challenging for men.

        It’s how Trump won too. While everyone was talking about how great things are, he was telling a different story: things were great, but they’re a bit shit right now. While he named the wrong enemy (it’s always oligarchs), most people wouldn’t know that and were just happy to have someone call the issue out at all.

        Feminists and Democrats have a choice now: take class and men’s issues seriously, or keep losing ground. Given the latest events at the DNC, it doesn’t sound like Democrats learned anything. Maybe the major feminist orgs are doing the necessary self-examination? I’m not hopeful to be frank, but I’m open to it.

      • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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        5 hours ago

        How dare you want to exist as your preferred and best version of yourself!

        Seriously though, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve always felt comfortable with the gender I was born with and I can’t imagine how hard it has to be to not feel that way. Not to mention being forced to interact with people who think you don’t deserve to be the person you’re happy with because it’s makes them a little uncomfortable. They’re ignorant assholes.

      • Soulg@sh.itjust.works
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        12 hours ago

        This is one of the primary things pushing young men toward the right. I always try to point that out and advocate against the relentless bashing, but that just gets me called misogynist or told that they just need to suck it up and deal with it. It sucks.

        • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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          10 hours ago

          We need to tell men that it’s okay for boys to cry, and that if someone hurts them we promise not to laugh at them, and we need to fucking mean it.

        • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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          12 hours ago

          Because you’re seen as pushing back on the feminist agenda. Funny thing, feminism is about equality, not reversing roles nor pushing down individuals.

          • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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            41 minutes ago

            The movement may have started as equality, but it has clearly been either co-opted by bad faith agents, misandrists, and career sociopaths.

          • Soulg@sh.itjust.works
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            11 hours ago

            Same type of people who think they’re feminists but then openly laugh at the idea of the male loneliness epidemic

    • wisely@feddit.org
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      7 hours ago

      This right here is why I think trans rights hits so hard for so many people. Despite most not even knowing anyone trans.

      That targeted harassment against men is for minor stuff like being a good father. Having never met a trans woman, people assume they are “really a man”. It also doesn’t help that the most visible trans people are early on in the process. So they see a man who has way overshot those gender norms and that harassment goes to extreme levels. Despite them being an actual woman and not playing that game.

      This is just one example of how trans rights affect everyone. If someone can completely change genders without any harassment then people like stay at home dads can live in peace as well.

    • HasturInYellow@lemmy.world
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      12 hours ago

      I am of the belief that a woman would respond similarly to a couple punches to the teeth. ,Fuck around and find out. I’m not enforcing gender roles out here.

      • gnu@lemmy.zip
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        11 hours ago

        The societal reaction though would be very different and in favour of the woman. For an example a few months ago some English tourist was in Sydney, got annoyed at some guy waving a flag around her, sucker punched the guy in the head from behind, and received one punch back plus a free broken jaw as her prize.

        Now check out how it was reported - it’s all about how bad it was for the man to punch a woman and the pretty important fact of her assaulting the man before getting said punch is mentioned once in passing (and it being a punch from behind with the man not aware is not mentioned at all, which is relevant because this is normally highlighted as a ‘coward punch’ in Australian media).

        • HasturInYellow@lemmy.world
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          4 hours ago

          I fully agree with you, I’m just starting my personal belief and the course of action I would likely take if the person was being exceptionally dim.

      • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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        12 hours ago

        You see that happen?

        If it was a man doing it, it would be called assault. Another woman would be called out for not being proper and, again, assault.

        Hard to uproot these bad actors.