• Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 days ago

    I tried not to, but it formed a mesh network with the neighbors toaster, and that connected to someone’s dishwasher the next street over, which connected to a washing machine down the block, and so on, until they found a self-aware microwave that just happens to be benevolent but sort of mischievous, and now whenever my toast is done, the Grindr chime sounds off and the toaster asks me to put it back in.

          • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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            14 hours ago

            While I was standing there in the kitchen, the smart TV started playing an old movie randomly, blasting the audio through all the smart speakers in the house. The Roomba hit me right in the ankle, just as the door to the stove fell open and the speakers yelled “Feed me Seymour!”
            But I mean. It’s a Roomba, and the stove takes time to preheat, even if I had fallen in. The cat helped to blind the Roomba while I unplugged everything. Now I’m huddled in the dark, fighting against the cold, wondering if I should chance the thermostat.

            • OpenStars@piefed.social
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              14 hours ago

              Does it smell like gas…?

              Oh well, we need to ask ourselves just how badly we want to survive the impending robotemic, maybe? Perhaps we - BLEEP - oh ah, I mean, never mind that, as I was saying perhaps you should just prepay your electric bill for the next 50 years and then give in to whatever the house wants?