I’m not sorry.
Holy shit! A talking bear!
Not for long.
It was a bear with a gun. A clear case of double self-defense.
Not only that, the smoking gun clearly indicates the bear shot first.
You’d shoot first too if you encountered a Mexican Frenchman out pistol hunting.
Señor Bear runs off, narrowly escaping with his life.
A few days later, Señor Bear walks into the local saloon. He rests his rifle on the bar, leans into the barkeep and says, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.”
And then a panda walks in, throws a bunch of peanuts in its mouth, kills the bear with a bullet in the back, and walks out. The horse next to the dead bear looks confused, so the bartender hands the horse a dictionary. The dictionary reads, “panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”
“So,” the bartender says to the horse, “what about you? Why the long face?”
The horse lowers his head in shame and mutters, “Don’t know. I’ve had it all my life. Right rope?” Suddenly, the rope binding the horse’s tail unties and leaps onto the barstool.
“I’ll have a Guinness,” said the rope. “I’m sorry,” replied the barkeep, “we don’t serve rope in here.” The rope, insulted by the barkeep, ties himself in a hitch and tosses his hair.
He asks again, “May I please have a Guinness.” The barkeep responds, “I told you, we don’t serve rope in here.”
