“Pal, look. If you had your gold coins stacked in your cave, and put in a couple tables, we’d just call it a ‘counting room.’ Then we’d be talking maybe a little citation for not spacing your dragon-discouragement columns close enough together. But what you’ve got here, with all your gold and gems and statues just like…piled up on the floor? I gotta be honest, I don’t know how you don’t at least have a little wyrmling in here yet. This is absolutely a hoard, and if we don’t remediate now you’re gonna need exterminators by the end of the week.”
Brilliant. For a while I have wanted to do a Victorian/Steampunk gothic fantasy “monster rally” campaign in the vein of Werewolf by Night/League of Extraordinary Gentlemen/Van Helsing/Universal Monsters, and I think I may have just found my hook.
“Pal, look. If you had your gold coins stacked in your cave, and put in a couple tables, we’d just call it a ‘counting room.’ Then we’d be talking maybe a little citation for not spacing your dragon-discouragement columns close enough together. But what you’ve got here, with all your gold and gems and statues just like…piled up on the floor? I gotta be honest, I don’t know how you don’t at least have a little wyrmling in here yet. This is absolutely a hoard, and if we don’t remediate now you’re gonna need exterminators by the end of the week.”
That would be a fun way to subvert expectations, make it sound like your typical “rats in the cellar” job:
“Yeah, I’ve got a bit of a pest problem in the cellar and you came highly recommended.”
“I mean, we’ve done that in the past, but that’s a bit beneath us now…”
“The job pays quite handsomely.”
“…Well, it better.”
And then the pest problem is a wyrmling and maybe some kobolds
Brilliant. For a while I have wanted to do a Victorian/Steampunk gothic fantasy “monster rally” campaign in the vein of Werewolf by Night/League of Extraordinary Gentlemen/Van Helsing/Universal Monsters, and I think I may have just found my hook.
This thread is feeding my desire for more of this character
Greatest call ever. Yes, absolutely.