Because He is our Lord and Master and owns us completely, body and soul.

…which is totally way less creepy.

Gods wither away when their believers don’t follow them anymore. They depend on you, which is often times a sign of a faulty relationship. It’s explained here: Terry Pratchett - Small Gods. ;)

Infinite punishment for finite sin. Totally cool, totally not creepy

Recently I watched a talk where Slavoj Zizek brought up a question that was apparently very popular in the Middle Ages in Europe:

Do the people in Heaven get to watch the people in Hell suffer … like some kind of Heaven version Netflix playing the show Tiger King ?

Because it seems that lots of Xians who see themselves as saved think the answer is “no” so that they must make and watch sinners suffer here on earth before joining Abraham’s bosom.

god insecure AF.

It wouldn’t be creepy if you were in a cult and he was your leader. You just gotta adjust, you know.

Well, god is not human. There are different standards for non-human beings. I wouldn’t mind if it was a cat saying it :)

God’s often thought of as absolute goodness, so it sounds logical to believers: who doesn’t love goodness is surely evil (is what they think, not me).

It’s not.

God is a jealous bitch.