I’ve been a serial monogamist since I started dating (way back in middle school), and my major relationships have been 1.5 years, 5.5 years, 2 years, and my current relationship which is 8+. My “ones that got away” were actually people that I wish I had messed around with in a no-strings-attached sort of way when I happened to be single. Problem is that I was never single for very long. Should’ve seen that as a personal red flag at the time, but I lacked the maturity and clarity.
Anyways, it’s not like an active desire I have. I’m really lucky - I’m married to a great guy, and I truly believe I’ve chosen an excellent life partner. Certainly the best fit for me from all the guys I’ve met. Just sometimes I wish I hadn’t taken love and sex so seriously when I was younger, and tried to have more fun.
If any young person is reading this, get it out of your system! Anybody that’s gonna judge you isn’t worth your time. Just be smart and safe about it, but you’ve got your whole adult life to be serious.
Maybe it’s how I’m wired (I’m demi) or because I did get it out of my system, but I find the sentiment confusing. I know of several friends who’ve had way more partners and hookups than me, but they still seem to feel unsatisfied. Like they regret not doing even more.
Maybe there is a magic number that one can hit that leads to a satisfying sexual history, but from the outside it looks to me like a type of dysphoria - that is, of the people I’m thinking of, I don’t believe they’ll ever feel complete.
I’ve been a serial monogamist since I started dating (way back in middle school), and my major relationships have been 1.5 years, 5.5 years, 2 years, and my current relationship which is 8+. My “ones that got away” were actually people that I wish I had messed around with in a no-strings-attached sort of way when I happened to be single. Problem is that I was never single for very long. Should’ve seen that as a personal red flag at the time, but I lacked the maturity and clarity.
Anyways, it’s not like an active desire I have. I’m really lucky - I’m married to a great guy, and I truly believe I’ve chosen an excellent life partner. Certainly the best fit for me from all the guys I’ve met. Just sometimes I wish I hadn’t taken love and sex so seriously when I was younger, and tried to have more fun.
If any young person is reading this, get it out of your system! Anybody that’s gonna judge you isn’t worth your time. Just be smart and safe about it, but you’ve got your whole adult life to be serious.
Married 20 years and also a serial monogamist and this is great advice IMO.
I don’t have a “one that got away” either and I’m madly in love with my wife but yeah… I definitely could have had more fun. Get out there.
Maybe it’s how I’m wired (I’m demi) or because I did get it out of my system, but I find the sentiment confusing. I know of several friends who’ve had way more partners and hookups than me, but they still seem to feel unsatisfied. Like they regret not doing even more.
Maybe there is a magic number that one can hit that leads to a satisfying sexual history, but from the outside it looks to me like a type of dysphoria - that is, of the people I’m thinking of, I don’t believe they’ll ever feel complete.