Gay is a happily accepted term for “penis+penis”, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, whatever, in the UK & Ireland. It is basically “not straight”; you can think of it as the British word for ‘queer’, because ‘queer’ still often means, well, queer. I wish you would respect British people’s choice of how they identify; America’s obsession with clinical and distinct labeling hasn’t claimed this particular lingual nuance yet. Not everything is an attack on your chosen identity.