I’m aware that I’m worthless

No, you’re not. You are in a bad place or in a bad time. Everyone has worth, but sometimes the people around you fail to recognize it or the place you’re in fails to feel right. It doesn’t stay that way, change is the only constant in life. Everyone has periods where things suck, even the best life. You’ll find a place and time and people who love you, even if depression lies to you.

My anxiety voice tells me all sorts of terrible lies about how I’m worthless, despite overwhelming evidence. Sometimes I believe it, and those days are bad. It takes some time, but I get past it. You will, too.

You’re not worthless, you’re lonely and seemingly frustrated.

I don’t know why you think you can just turn off your libido, you’re a human being, that’s pretty much built in. Not to belittle your feelings, but I just don’t see how something innately human makes someone worthless.

I know it sounds daunting, but start with the job (hear me out). I don’t know you’re background/age, but a job can help not just with money, but socializing. I’m not saying getting a job is easy by any means, but it’ll be the first step in making yourself feel more empowered, since three of the five things you mentioned are related to job/income.

A just drop “virgin” from the list. Not saying to not look for love, but being virgin at any age doesn’t make anyone worthless.

I believe that your goals are achievable, but they all require time to really see the fruits of your labor, and that can really suck in the here and now. You’re not worthless, just at a different part of your own journey, at your own pace. Nothing is wrong with that or you.

Even if you don’t believe in yourself, believe in the me that believes in you, because I’m sure you can do it.

sorry this is so long

You have some goals you feel are unachievable because there are too many things wrong with your life.

Many of those things can be fixed and are thus achievable goals.

Decide what you can start to fix today and do the next step. I’d suggest starting by applying to jobs that you may think such, but which you are qualified for.

Start with a shitty job and you’ll earn money for a car and maybe make some friends. Apply for a better job later and you’ll have money for your own place.

Fix all that stuff and meeting women won’t seem as scary.

You could describe anyone as worthless as the existance of humanity isn’t inherently “worth” anything.
Create your own worth.

You aren’t worthless and you can grow as a person thru lonely times.

It might’ve been easier for me going thru it as a teen. I was pulled from school and homeschooled, in the Texas countryside. I slowly lost every friend I had in school and there was literally no one else to talk to but my family.

I have a great family, but it wasn’t a warm family. My mother was a very stern and logical woman and my father worked out of town a lot.

They both loved me, but my point is I spent years entirely alone.

I took walks and read books. It got easier.

Decades later I’m still kind of a loner but entirely by choice. As an adult I get flirted with and hit on often. I’m very careful about who I date because I don’t need it. I’m fine being alone now, I only date someone if they are adding something to my life.

It gets easier being alone, you eventually start to prefer it.

Shit changes really fast. This can be in a good way or bad way. Appreciate the things you have by literally thinking hard about it. Comparison with others can also be either beneficial or detrimental, depending on who you compare yourself to. If you want the thing X in your life, put in the work and you should get closer to it. If you get it, nice. If you don’t, well sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. That is okay too. No one knows why the fuck they are alive, but at least you are now.

First of all, it is all relative. For example, I grew up in a home where noone hugged or ever said “I love you.” Even though I have learned it was fucked up, I still want love, and crave hugging people. I have learned the more authenthic I am, tye more energy comes my way. I don’t smile usually unless I feel something. And I try not to fake laugh to fit in. I try to contribute in conversations when I actually have something useful to offer. I try to find a dash (or morsel) of humor in everything including being able to laugh at myself. That is the most genuine thing I can offer that people recognize as real and relate to. I also try to stay clean and groomed. And say thank you. That is all I have today.

Hey bud, that sucks…for sure and while my situation is different, I’ve been in the same place often. I wonder if I’ll ever get away from failure, but to some degree, it seems to simply always shadow me.

So many things I’d like to offer or suggest but they’d probably come off as cheesy or preachy. And that sucks because I hate thinking that people are in the same space that I am and have been. Hopelessness I an awful companion.

Is there one thing, anything at all that is on the other side of the failure list? Anything you know you do well or that generates a smidgen of satisfaction. Like, fuck I don’t know, do you make a killer peanut butter sandwich or can you catch the soap inhumanely fast if you drop it in the shower or maybe do goldfish seem to think your interesting? Can you find one thing that if only for a short moment, exists outside of the cloud of failure?

All I can say is that life is worth living to me, because I want to live.

Edit: everything I put before was me dumping and I’m sorry, the last sentence is the only one that’s important.

Let’s assume that you are right and you are worthless right now, there’s power in acknowledging that. You don’t have to fight through denial, you are ready to change.

I’m not as familiar with Europe, but they must have some sort of social welfare framework. Get plugged in. Explain your frustrations, ask what programs they recommend, then do them. Your plan hasn’t worked, maybe theirs will.

Accept help to get a high school diploma. Accept help finding a job. Show that your value is being able to listen to and learn from others, then use what you learn to keep going.

I know you can do this. What resources are out there?