I’ll start.
It’s tragic how many terrible things that President “Smokin’ Diamond” Joe Biden has had to allow to pass because there simply isn’t enough of a majority to overcome GOP opposition to everything. If only there were some common-sense bills could be passed, with bipartisan support, then maybe we could remember that this country is already great, mend the divide, and get back on track.
spoiler
(FUCK. That hurt to write, including the “the entire world is Burgerland” presumptive delivery. I need a shower.) 
You can get a writing job basically anywhere in showbusiness with that brilliant material!