I’ll start.
It’s tragic how many terrible things that President “Smokin’ Diamond” Joe Biden has had to allow to pass because there simply isn’t enough of a majority to overcome GOP opposition to everything. If only there were some common-sense bills could be passed, with bipartisan support, then maybe we could remember that this country is already great, mend the divide, and get back on track.
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(FUCK. That hurt to write, including the “the entire world is Burgerland” presumptive delivery. I need a shower.) 
Sorry I don’t have time for this, I’m too busy hanging a portrait of Jack Smith next to my portraits of Hillary Clinton and Robert Mueller and listening to Rachel Maddow’s Podcast.
I can’t wait to get a Funko Pop of that American hero (I can also pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for a LEGO set of the same because I’ve been a good boy this year) and take a selfie next to it while sipping from my conservative tears coffee mug.
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(FUCK, that also hurt.)