TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. All of the panels take place in a blue sky with fluffy white clouds.

PANEL 1

A human man, with a beard and a flannel shirt, is standing on a cloud, looking up at God, who is on another, higher cloud. (And is also much larger physically than the human guy). God is drawn in the traditional way: He has a thick white beard and is wearing white robes, and there’s a halo behind His head.

God is grinning and spreading His hands wide in a welcoming manner.

GOD: Hi there, I’m God! Good news! Because I’m so infinitely loving, good and merciful, you get to go to Heaven!

MAN: Okay!

PANEL 2

A close up of God, who as Nadine draws Him has very pretty eyes. He is smiling and pressing his palms together and looking in the direction of the off-panel human.

GOD: But if you don’t love me, I’ll throw you into a lake of burning sulfur where you’ll be tormented day and night forever!

PANEL 3

God smiles down beatifically at the human, who has raised a finger to make a point.

MAN: But… That’s horrible! And it doesn’t make sense! A good god wouldn’t torture people forever!

PANEL 4

A close up of God, with a wailing expression, as He presses the back of His hand to His forehead. He is dissolving into ash, and has already disappeared from the upper chest down.

GOD: Gasp! By pointing out a paradox you’ve defeated me! Now I must turn into ash and die like in that Marvel movie!

PANEL 5

Nothing is left of God but a pyramid-shaped pile of black ash (the ash pile has a halo behind it). In the foreground, the human has mildly surprised body language, and is rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

MAN: Um…

PANEL 6

God, a merry expression on his face, has reappeared whole on His cloud. He’s crouching down and pointing at the human. Lightning shoots out of God’s finger, engulfing the human and instantly turning the human into a black, charred, and surprised looking skeleton.

GOD: I’m kidding! Have fun suffering in the abyss forever, loser! Hah hah!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is an obsolete cartoonists’ expression for unimportant but entertaining details the cartoonist slips into the cartoon.

In this cartoon, in panel one, on the lower left, we can see a little dog sniffing at the cloud it’s standing on. The dog is wearing white robs and has a halo and white feathery wings.

We can’t see the cloud the dog is standing on again until panel five. In this panel, the dog is gone, but there’s a yellow puddle on the cloud where the dog was.

Source.

  • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    1·
    4 months ago

    I could point out many “inconsistencies” if you like. Jesus is fully man, and fully God. Man is fully responsible for his actions, but,

    A man’s heart plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Pro. 16:9

    As to waiting patiently, God has clearly set A DAY when things will end. It’s not infinite patience.

    In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising him from the dead.” Acts 17:30-31

    For inconsistencies, how about this?

    When the Gentiles heard this, they rejoiced and glorified the word of the Lord, and all who were appointed for eternal life believed. Acts 13:48

    With,

    One of you will say to me, “Then why does God still find fault? For who can resist His will?” But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to Him who formed it, “Why did You make me like this?” Does not the potter have the right to make from the same lump of clay one vessel for special occasions and another for common use? Rom. 9:19-21

    I suppose you’re in the same position as Job, you want an audience with God.

    • FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world
      2·
      4 months ago

      The Bible is a collection of writings of people wrestling with the idea of a ‘good’ interventionist deity despite the innocent of the world still at times experiencing grotesque pain. The words they put in God’s mouth are, of course, inconsistent or just wrong. Scripture never makes the claim it’s all error free despite fervently held views to the contrary. But those writings are still interesting in so much as they shed light on the psyche of those present at the start of a hugely influential movement.

      I don’t want an audience with “God” same way you haven’t given much thought to having an audience with Thor.