Quite right. No one is going to accuse me of murder because I have never, and would never murder anyone. Same is true if sexual harassment or assault.
No one will ever misconstrue my actions as sexual harassment or assault because…surprise…I don’t do those things. All sexual contact I have with people is wholly consensual, and consent is acquired with no pressure on the other party(-ies), in a sober state, and in advance.
The only way I’m ever going to be accused of any wrongdoing toward another human…harassment, assault, murder, or otherwise…is if someone has a vendetta against me because I chose to not tolerate their bullshit for whatever reason. In which case, I have a wealth of friends and exes who would be very happy to serve as character references.
In short: If you are worrying about being accused of sexual harassment or assault, then you are approaching relationships wrong.
I am a big nerd when it comes to relationship theory. I heavily advocate for purposeful relationships in which each party makes it well-known what their wants, needs, dealbreakers, boundaries, STI status, etc. are well before clothes come off.
I regularly hear people reply, “Lol no, you start talking like that and she’s gonna nope out because she’s not gonna find that sexy at all.” To which I reply, “Then maybe you’re dating the wrong people.” The people in my circles…men, women, and enbies alike…highly value consent, so when a potential partner starts this discussion, it is very, very sexy. It shows that they value our safety, sexual health, informed consent and bodily autonomy, and people like that are the only people for whom I will ever take my clothes off.
Yup, I’m a professional dominatrix and having these open conversations is a must. If done correctly, it invites deeper intimacy and helps the relationship grow - it doesn’t drive people away. The only reason honesty would drive someone away, is exactly the reason you should be honest - so they can have informed consent about what’s taking place and say no if they want to. If someone isn’t allowed to say “no” in the first place, then whether they say yes is irrelevant. Can’t consent if you can’t dissent.
I’m not scared. For me, that’s like being afraid of being accused of murder.
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Oh, certainly not!
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Quite right. No one is going to accuse me of murder because I have never, and would never murder anyone. Same is true if sexual harassment or assault.
No one will ever misconstrue my actions as sexual harassment or assault because…surprise…I don’t do those things. All sexual contact I have with people is wholly consensual, and consent is acquired with no pressure on the other party(-ies), in a sober state, and in advance.
The only way I’m ever going to be accused of any wrongdoing toward another human…harassment, assault, murder, or otherwise…is if someone has a vendetta against me because I chose to not tolerate their bullshit for whatever reason. In which case, I have a wealth of friends and exes who would be very happy to serve as character references.
In short: If you are worrying about being accused of sexual harassment or assault, then you are approaching relationships wrong.
But this is exactly what a murderer would say
https://media.tenor.com/-Cr1JqBDtfIAAAAM/you-missed-the-point-stick-animation.gif
It was a joke and you missed it
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It was a joke that spoke well to a serious issue, and you missed that.
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I am a big nerd when it comes to relationship theory. I heavily advocate for purposeful relationships in which each party makes it well-known what their wants, needs, dealbreakers, boundaries, STI status, etc. are well before clothes come off.
I regularly hear people reply, “Lol no, you start talking like that and she’s gonna nope out because she’s not gonna find that sexy at all.” To which I reply, “Then maybe you’re dating the wrong people.” The people in my circles…men, women, and enbies alike…highly value consent, so when a potential partner starts this discussion, it is very, very sexy. It shows that they value our safety, sexual health, informed consent and bodily autonomy, and people like that are the only people for whom I will ever take my clothes off.
Yup, I’m a professional dominatrix and having these open conversations is a must. If done correctly, it invites deeper intimacy and helps the relationship grow - it doesn’t drive people away. The only reason honesty would drive someone away, is exactly the reason you should be honest - so they can have informed consent about what’s taking place and say no if they want to. If someone isn’t allowed to say “no” in the first place, then whether they say yes is irrelevant. Can’t consent if you can’t dissent.
Not into much BDSM myself but I am polyam and date a lot of kinksters, so much love and respect to you. 😊