I’ve gone on 6 dates with this guy and I really like who he is and we have a lot of shared values and similar interests. He’s not the typical type of guy I go for though. But I felt like maybe I’ll just go with what my body is telling me and I want to kiss him and hold hands and stuff, which we have done. But I feel like I’m not sure.
I went over to his apartment yesterday and we were making out on his bed and I was thinking in my head that I hope this doesn’t escalate beyond this. I was scared that I wouldn’t like what I see if he took of his shirt. Or I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to perform if I wasn’t sure how attracted I was to him. It could also be just anxiety because I have not had sex in years (by choice) and I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I also don’t have much dating experience outside of first and second dates.
Towards the end of our date I did feel like I just wanted to home, but I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t like him as much as I thought or because I barely got any sleep the night before and we just spent a lot of time walking around.
I previously kept seeing him because of everything I like in him and I thought maybe I don’t have the infatuation sort of feeling but maybe I can develop a slow love over time that might be stronger. I would like to keep seeing him to see how things go going forward, but I don’t want to be leading him on if it’s not going to work.
I was thinking maybe I could communicate how I’m feeling and see if he wants to keep trying or idk. I’m just lost.
I don’t often worry about anything, but I do when it comes to relationships, I just never seem to know what is the cause of my feelings. I have been trying to trust my gut as you have said and that’s why I continued to date him, because I do like him and I have felt like I wanted to go on dates and kiss, etc. What I found interesting and why I made this post is that my gut stopped me from going any further than making out with him. But could be due to all the aforementioned anxiety about the situation itself. Thank you for your comments!
Apologies then, bit of projection on my behalf, admittedly. That’s the crux of this format — I have neither enough context nor insight to your experiences to really give specific enough advice. All I can say with certainty is that your body is telling you something. It’s important to get to the reason (not that you’re not trying to, of course). That process looks different for everyone. Though it doesn’t work for me, writing in some form helps a lot of people gather their thoughts. Long walks are another one that works for people. You’re welcome for the comments, I hope you find clarity soon!