Welcome to a day in the life of a billionaire. You’ll need to get up nice and early for a personalised yoga routine devised by your trainer, and then it’s straight out of the house to work. You’ve got breakfast scheduled with a CEO, and you’re going to spend an hour objectifying women with him before heading into the office. Quick hello, report from your executive team, and now it’s time for a power brunch with the man who sources child slaves for you to have sex with. Private jet flight to the next city over for lunch, you have a corrupt mayor to bribe so the minimum wage won’t go up. Then it’s time to fly back and spend an hour in your office looking important. You ended up sleeping with your secretary instead of getting anything done, but hey, we can’t all be faithful to our wives. Now that it’s 2pm, you’ve got to go play golf with your “professional contacts”. You refer to your caddy with a racial slur. At 4pm, you go back to the office for the last time today, where your son is waiting for you. It’s very hard educating a young man on how to inherit a fortune 500 company that runs itself. You spend most of the next hour telling him about golf. At 5pm, finally get in your limousine to go home. You’ve been working all day, and you’re beat. You praise yourself for your work ethic, and wonder if the single day you work next week is going to be as hard.
You write all of that in the middle of the night to distract yourself from the guilt which robs you of your sleep, before your heavy medication kicks in. You give it to your social media staff in the morning to post throughout the day.
Welcome to a day in the life of a billionaire. You’ll need to get up nice and early for a personalised yoga routine devised by your trainer, and then it’s straight out of the house to work. You’ve got breakfast scheduled with a CEO, and you’re going to spend an hour objectifying women with him before heading into the office. Quick hello, report from your executive team, and now it’s time for a power brunch with the man who sources child slaves for you to have sex with. Private jet flight to the next city over for lunch, you have a corrupt mayor to bribe so the minimum wage won’t go up. Then it’s time to fly back and spend an hour in your office looking important. You ended up sleeping with your secretary instead of getting anything done, but hey, we can’t all be faithful to our wives. Now that it’s 2pm, you’ve got to go play golf with your “professional contacts”. You refer to your caddy with a racial slur. At 4pm, you go back to the office for the last time today, where your son is waiting for you. It’s very hard educating a young man on how to inherit a fortune 500 company that runs itself. You spend most of the next hour telling him about golf. At 5pm, finally get in your limousine to go home. You’ve been working all day, and you’re beat. You praise yourself for your work ethic, and wonder if the single day you work next week is going to be as hard.
At which part of the day do you sit around and shitpost alt right propaganda on Twitter for hours?
You write all of that in the middle of the night to distract yourself from the guilt which robs you of your sleep, before your heavy medication kicks in. You give it to your social media staff in the morning to post throughout the day.
Sounds exhausting 😅