• IzzyScissor@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Modern-Day Jesus:

        So the beggar at the red light began shouting, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

        “Be quiet!” the people in the vehicle behind yelled at him.

        But he only shouted louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

        When Jesus heard him, he rolled down his window and ordered that the man come near. Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

        “Lord,” he said, “My only want is for enough coin to eat for today!”

        And Jesus said, “If I were to give you coin, surely you would instead use it instead for drugs and alcohol. I shall not grant you this desire. Instead I shall speak unto the land that all shall know of your wicked ways and none will grant you coin again.”

        Instantly the man cried out, “If you were not to grant me this, Lord, please allow me to pass on from this world onto hell, for truly I am already living there.”

        And Jesus said, “I do not know the ways of my Father, but surely I know this: Your fate would not have fallen upon you had you followed Jesus, praising God. You have made this bed, and now it is time for you to lay in it.”

        And the light changed to green, and Jesus sped away. In the din, the beggar could not explain that he was born a disciple and had praised God since taking his first breath. And the people in the vehicle behind who saw it drove past and said, “Get a job”, and praised God this fate would surely never befall them.

    • RidderSport@feddit.org
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      5 months ago

      No no my man suicide is a sin. You’re supposed to vegetate and suffer in undignified misery until you finally die -just as God has intended for your life to be

      • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        You’re supposed to pay tithes and have babies to support the child grooming cult Lord’s work until you can’t tithe anymore.

    • experbia@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      no, no, conservatives will never support this idea. death is too easy an out. why should they allow those that they view as lesser to have an escape from an absolute living hell? no, they intend to make slaves out of them. step one is to criminalize being homeless. then, the homeless can easily become prisoners in horrific private prisons. conveniently, they can now legally be used as slave labor! the prison corporations don’t even have to foot the bills - taxpayers will pay enough to keep the prisoners alive (barely), so the work they force them to do is all profit, a capitalist dream. if they won’t work, no worries! it’s illegal to torture them, of course, but conveniently, the legal definitions of torture do not include being locked alone in a windowless always-lit featureless room indefinitely with only moldy nutriloaf for food that tastes like human shit, so they can just do that as an “encouragement tactic” until they decide to start toiling properly.

      incidentally, and entirely unrelatedly I’m sure, they also want really bad to roll back discrimination protections for women, LGBT, and all minorities, so that anyone can be denied work or housing for “any reason”. weird. I’m sure it’s not because they want to be able to torture and enslave us “undesirables” with complete impunity, because that would really be antithetical to their primary religion’s teachings haha