One such encounter went like this:
Me: “Hi. I’m calling about my daughter’s ambulance and hospital charges. I haven’t been able to reach my grievance coordinator about the appeal.”
Representative: “I can help you.”
**Me: **(Genuinely excited.) “Great!”
Representative: “Oh, I see your daughter turned 18. I can’t discuss her information with you.”
Me: “I sent a release of information form by mail, fax and email. I also faxed our conservatorship papers.”
Representative: “I’m sorry, it’s not on file. What office did you send it to?”
Me: (I give the information.)
Representative: “That’s the wrong fax number. Let me give you the correct one.”
Me: “I’m not inventing numbers out of the ether. This is the third new fax number I’ve been given. Are the address and email inaccurate too?”
Representative: “I’m sorry, but I can’t discuss your daughter’s claims with you without this information. Can you put her on the phone to give verbal consent?”
**Me: **“I can’t put her on the phone. She’s currently in a treatment center and has no access to a phone, which is why I have a conservatorship to help with her medical care.”
Representative: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s nothing I can do without the forms or her verbal consent.”
Me: “Who do you think pays the insurance premium and all her providers? I’m just trying to settle her claims, and I don’t know what we owe without access.”
Representative: “I can only answer general questions.”
Me: “OK. From the bills I’ve received, we’re being charged out-of-network fees for the ambulance, ER, ER doctor and hospital.”
Representative: “Was this out of state?”
**Me: **“Yes.”
Representative: “Hang on, I have to transfer you.”
I was on hold for another 15 minutes, and then got cut off. I called back, was transferred twice and then repeated a version of the above conversation before resuming — with a grievance coordinator!
Grievance coordinator: “The ambulance and ER facility were both out of state and out of network.”
Me: “A treatment center called for an ambulance. I wasn’t given a choice of who responded or where they took her.”
Grievance coordinator: “They used out-of-network providers.”
Me: “They dialed 911. No one stops to ask the closest ambulance what their network status is.”
Grievance coordinator: “They did transfer her to an in-network hospital, but the physicians were not participating providers.”
**Me: **“Under the No Surprises Act, insurance must cover all providers in the case of an emergency, whether they are in network or not — even if out of state.”
(There was a long silence.)
Me: “Are you still there?”
Grievance coordinator: “Yes, ma’am. Once you get the conservatorship papers to us, we can look at those claims. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Me: “Apparently not.”
“Death panels!” the conservatives shouted. “The government will have death panels!”
The rubes ate it up, not realizing they had death panels the entire time and paid more for them.
Seriously. The real Obama Death Panel is a lone worker mass-clicking “not covered” all the way down a spreadsheet that has your care as a line items.
I also like doing this juxtaposition:
Repubs under Obama: “death panels are going to kill our grandmas.”
Repubs under Donald: “sacrifice all grandmas to the rising line.”
Not to mention the part of the bill they were referring to was paying doctors for end of life counseling, like living wills, which help people die with comfort and dignity.