One of the major drivers of the exceptional heat building within Earth’s atmosphere has reached levels beyond anything humans have ever experienced, officials announced on Thursday. Carbon dioxide, the gas that accounts for the majority of global warming caused by human activities, is accumulating “faster than ever,” scientists from NOAA, the Scripps Institution of Oceanography and the University of California San Diego found.
“Over the past year, we’ve experienced the hottest year on record, the hottest ocean temperatures on record, and a seemingly endless string of heat waves, droughts, floods, wildfires and storms,” NOAA Administrator Rick Spinrad said in a press release. “Now we are finding that atmospheric CO2 levels are increasing faster than ever.”
I hate to break this to you, but you’re not immortal. You will die.
Didn’t you read their comment? They’re Canadian.
TIL that being Canadian has granted me immortality. Although I am part First Nations, so maybe that cancelled it out?
Luckily I live in Scotland now so instead of everyone being able to see I’m part native, I’m just another white guy. Was a real shock when I had the “you fuckin white people” line thrown at me though.
It is said that after a long life, Canadians yearn for the Earthly Paradise of Valinor. I assume that’s somewhere in Scotland.
Moving is what got you.
The boy with psychic powers (of whom we are all very fond) that rules Canada is the source of immortality. You’ve moved from his sphere of influence.
Ok so how does this play with the fact that if you die in Canada you die in real life?
That’s only if you’re not Canadian, as soon as you get PR status the immortality kicks in.
If you’re FN you’re fucked. Can I interest you in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Lol
Edit: oh shit wait what are residential schools? Almost like we done fucked up!
Don’t need to be immortal. Just need to outlive the rest of you fuckers. Then I might be able to finally have some peace and quiet. Lol