When you’re at work, do you ever find yourself fantasizing and being hyper motivated about being home to continue THAT thing you’re really excited about or should be doing. But then once you get home all motivation evaporates and you end up doing nothing and feeling guilty about it?

  • RustyNova@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Same, and I’m trying to fight against it. I’ve noticed that when coming home I am not just procrastinating, but actually exhausted. Idk if it’s due to concentrating all day, or something with me, but I do know that I am tired.

    I’ve started to actually embrace it, and for the time until I get dinner, I just rest. Might sleep even. There’s no point in fighting, as I aren’t in the mental space to do things. Then after dinner I’m back to do stuff, maybe even later in the night as I am more rested from my nap.

    Although another take on it is that things are lot more enticed to do things when you can’t/don’t have them.

    I am not a doctor, nor claim what I do is healthy, but that’s just my experience. If anyone got tips I’m listening

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      6 months ago

      Me too. I wish I could devote the amount of time/energy to hobbies that I do to work, but my job pays for that time and attention, so they get it

      I’ve got so used to that way of operating, I actually have some difficulty marshalling that same kind of focus (such as it is…) to hobbies or projects I actually care about.

      It takes me a pretty long “runway” (like longer than 2 days without paid work) to build up the gumption to even consider doing something self actualizing.

      Even then, I’ll usually just do a udemy course that’s good for my career or whatever. I’m fkn corpo brained mates 🫨

    • Jtskywalker@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      I often do that too. Sometimes I literally lay on the floor. I’m becoming more and more aware of my limited capacity and I’m trying to figure out better ways to regulate it so I don’t feel entirely zapped all the time.

  • Xantar@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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    6 months ago

    Speaking of work, do you guys ever start a new work project with full focus, then if for some reason you’re ahead of schedule, you lose it all, until you’re late and sometimes too late ?

    It happens often and makes me feel incompetent in a position I know I’m capable.

    • okamiueru@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Can I ask in which way it helps? Or perhaps, what in particular it helps with? For example, the “feeling guilty” part is very different from “motivation evaporates”, but remedying either, or something else entirely, can be considered helping.

      • TheSambassador@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I have the complete opposite experience. Weed removes the guilt of not doing anything, but it usually leads to me doing nothing.

        I enjoy weed occasionally because it turns off that hyper critical voice in my head, but it absolutely isn’t a magic motivation medicine for most people.

        After using pretty heavily last year and taking a break, I’ve realized that the overall effect is fairly negative, because it just makes me way too ok with doing nothing. Sometimes I need to do nothing and take a break, and it’s great for helping me do that, but for me personally, it’s a major negative when I’m doing it regularly.

        Obviously your experience is different (as is everyone’s a little) so feel free to try it, just keep in mind that it can get very easy to get addicted to that “mellow brain” feeling until you realize that all progress on all of your goals have stalled out because it’s easy to just be high all afternoon and evening. There are lots of people who can be motivated and productive while high, but I think I’ve determined that I’m not one of them.

      • TypicalHog@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        It makes that motivation that evaporated return. And it returns even stronger (like way stronger) than when I initially had it sober.

    • Xantar@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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      6 months ago

      I find that on the contrary, alcohol helps me feel more relaxed and feel less guilty and eventually just do stuff without overthinking it.

  • aStonedSanta@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    So much so. It’s so debilitating sometimes too. I’ll focus and stew on not doing the thing I wanna do. And end up just idling and doing nothing.

  • barsquid@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Every single day. “Oh I should work on a side project and get independent income so I don’t have to do this tedious shit.” Nope. “Ok then I should do one of the several hobbies I already spent money on.” Nope. “Video games?” Nope. So tired of my own behavior.

  • adam_y@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Just so you know, this isn’t just an ADHD thing.

    Most folk experience it and it’s one of the main causes of burnout.

    That said, it’s always worth checking that you are getting enough vitamin d and that your thyroid is working right.

    • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      You know, I’ve always heard people talk about burnout, but what exactly is it/feel like?

      Same thing for brain fog.

      I struggle immensely to stay awake when I get home and usually pass out for a couple hours. Which sucks cause then there’s not a lot I can do with the day

      • adam_y@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        That. That sounds like it, coupled with frustration and feeling a bit overwhelmed.

        It is cool to be exhausted after work if it fullfills you and you enjoy it, but most folk need the gaps between to be themselves.

        • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Ahhh well, thank you for the clarification. It’s good to understand it so I can recognize it myself. I’m notoriously bad at self analysis with those types of things.

          • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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            6 months ago

            It’s not your fault, these things sneak up on us, and it’s not part of most people’s education. I don’t think learned to be even halfway introspective until much later in life. And that only because I started keeping a diary and noticing things like “huh my entries are really dark when I’ve been drinking the previous today.”

            • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              Yeah, I didn’t recognize what anxiety was until a medication gave me a panic attack. I’ve been able to recognize it since. Due to my upbringing I’m probably further behind than most in that respect so I’ve taken it upon myself to try and catch up.

  • yokonzo@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Yes totally, i can’t even enjoy video games anymore because the entire time there’s this little voice in the back of my head that says “you’re wasting your life”

  • Hootz@lemmy.ca
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    6 months ago

    Every day bud, every day

    I’ve come to terms with it, it doesn’t upset me like it used to, but I think that’s mostly because what I do for work makes me happy. If it’s not that it’s probably work brings such exhaustion that im to tired to care 😅

    I spent 8 hours ripping out old beverage lines from a boat, tomorrow I get to install all new lines, setup 4 bars and rodent “proof” them

  • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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    6 months ago

    Yup. And then when I’m off the clock, I feel guilty about all the work I procrastinated during the workday, feeling amped up to tackle my assigned work the next day. Then the cycle repeats. Brain can’t enjoy the thing right in front of it.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@midwest.social
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    6 months ago

    Yep. Whatever project seems more interesting than what I’m doing at work, but less interesting once I get home and have options.

  • feedmecontent@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Yes, and I used to get right to it and do it guilt free, but the negative association with having those things punished as a child and teen made it harder to enjoy things permanently. I think paradigms for raising kids right now kind of do this to kids that get fixated on stuff. There’s gotta be a way to nurture the deep enjoyment of things and still get the kid to eat and sleep and go to school (which is also broken and might make the whole thing harder to fix).

    • Trofont@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      This hit way too hard. I find it so hard to just enjoy my hobbies because I feel like I’m breaking the rules.