The ad itself depicted a mechanical crusher destroying artifacts of human creativity. A trumpet, guitar, sculpture, piano, drawing board, paints, a metronome, several analog cameras, a turntable, and hi-fi equipment were among the much-loved items yielding to the machine’s unstoppable force.
Apple popularised two things that bug the shit out of me in addition to everything you said. “on iPhone” “on iPad” just sounds utterly wrong. It needs to be “on the iPhone” “on the iPad”. Now everyone is doing it.
The other is " breathlessly we’re excited to announce/we’re excited to share with you/we’re excited!!!big fucking cheesy grin". The whole point of having that whole “excited” or whichever adjective you want at that point of the sentence is to prep you and let you know what you’re supposed to feel. If it’s that good surely you shouldn’t have to tell me what I need to feel.