If I am asked politely, with a please and thank you, to do something I have no problem with it 99% of the time.
But if you just drop hints, are rude AF, or straight up demand something, even if I get the hint it makes me not want to do whatever it is you want.
Person: “sigh”
Me: …
Person: “SIGH” makes eye contact with me
Me: Okay they want something. They are standing over there by the shelves. They are holding a box. Did they take it from the shelf? Or are they putting it back? Probably putting it back, or they would have left with it. Or is it too heavy to walk with? It looks a bit heavy but not that heavy. Maybe they are struggling to put it back in the shelf? Surely they are strong enough if they brace properly. But there is no other reason to just stand there and look helpless? They are probably asking for help in lifting the box up even if they are capable. It is probably some social courtesy thing and they want me to show I like them by offering to help. Yes. That makes sense. Do they expect me to ask if they need help, or just run up and take it from them? Probably not run. Walk casually. Actually, asking if they need help is safest. That is the correct response. … I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS FUCKING PUZZLE WHEN THEY COULD JUST SAY help please OR SOMETHING
Them: …?
Me: blink, smile, go back to work
And maybe they don’t even want help, they just wanna be asked if they need help so they can say “no.”
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I get asked if I can do a favor all the time. I am like what are you wanting first. Not about to agree until I know.
Yeah, the answer to “can you do me a big favor?” is “what’s up?”
Hey Weasel, promise me something?
Hell no! Not until I have an idea of the scale of this pact we’re entering into. Am I obligating myself to call you on your birthday every year? Are we burying a body? Do you want me to keep “reaching for the stars”? Big difference there, Joanne.
Sometimes I pretend to take sarcasm or joke statements seriously because I don’t know how to react to it otherwise.
Me too. Also I’ll often do the opposite where I make a joke but with no tone change to indicate it as such. People will either get mad at me for being wrong or else they will praise my brilliant deadpan humour.
haha same! Half the time I’m a comedic genius, and the other half, I look like an idiot. (ok, maybe it’s 60/40. or 5/95.)
this thread speaks to me
yooooooo! Before I found out I’m autistic, I asked a friend if I had any toxic traits/patterns/behaviors. He said that the only thing he could think of was that quite often, people can’t tell that I’m joking. According to him, people have to get to know me for a while until they recognize my humor. If they didn’t know me, then I would come off like a complete jerk. This is probably why people would call me an “asshole” so often at parties.
People who scoff or laugh a little and want you to ask what’s so funny or interesting. Not on the Spektrum but I ignore them because I hate that shit.
Would you rather they tell you umprompted, or keep it to themselves?
Either is ok. Just not trying to… idk socially manipulate me into asking them so they can tell me something. I don’t know how common that is tbh, only had two colleagues like that so far, it just annoys me.
They can at least verbalize that they saw something funny so that I know they’re actually willing/ready to share because I hate asking and then waiting as they finish watching/reading/texting.
Understandable. Though from my end, I wouldn’t want to say “I just saw something funny” because to me that’s socially obligating them to ask what it is, and maybe they’re not interested. I prefer doing the laugh because that gives them the choice of whether they want to ask. Though on the other end, I can imagine not wanting to ask because maybe it wasn’t something the laugher wanted to share.
I’ve started just staring blankly at then without saying anything until they either tell me what was funny or they move on and I go back to what I was doing. Either way, I don’t ask, it’s up to them to tell me if they want to or not. They’ll quickly learn I don’t ask, so they just start saying it naturally instead.