Yes! I am a small, AFAB femme looking person. You are absolutely correct- it’s about taking something naturally feminine and exaggerating it to appeal to hierarchical power. It’s been the only way to placate some people, throughout my life!
It’s unfair to everyone, the same way telling AMAB kids to ‘speak like a man or no one will respect you’. No one should require a deep voice to be respected.
We need to fix this ingrained issue of gender expression = ability.
Yeah I’m a large trans woman and I still distinctly remember how going into college looking like a severely depressed wreck and having a full denial beard I was treated like I obviously knew things and was smart, but by the time i graduated I’d been long transitioned and suddenly as the same person I was assumed less competent despite those 5 years being when I went from a dipshit who knew nothing to someone competent. And the speaking patterns I’d been punished for not having became ones I was punished for having.
But also I’m big enough I can make myself heard, it often comes with negative side effects (trans women standing up for ourselves isn’t traditionally smiled on), but I can do it. My mom was the same way and I’m grateful to have had her demonstrate it for me time and again. My little sister though got neither out mom’s size nor her extroversion. It frustrates me to no end that just because she’s small and capable of shutting her mouth some people treat her as less intelligent instead of the brilliant anxious wreck she is.
And yeah I definitely butch it up a bit at work because I’m in a male dominated field and want to be taken remotely seriously. And the fact that I’m choosing to stop myself here from listing examples is part of how big of a problem this is. Patriarchy isn’t some ideology but rather it is woven deep into our culture and the way we are taught to think and interact. It is difficult and important work to push back against it in ourselves and part of that is going to be making a point to listen to what small feminine people have to say, including the quiet and timid ones.
See, I know this is part of the trans hate. It’s a lot harder to enforce patriarchy when one sees behind the curtain & talks about it.
Thank you for being you, and standing up for yourself. I’m married to a (tall & gorgeous) trans woman, and she was surprised that no one gets out of her way anymore, lol. She says people invade her personal space and stand directly in her path constantly.
And thank you for being you. We need women and feminine people of all shapes and sizes being strong, capable, and refusing to not be heard. It was feminist theory that gave me the words to describe what I saw and that was built on a wide array of experiences.
Yes! I am a small, AFAB femme looking person. You are absolutely correct- it’s about taking something naturally feminine and exaggerating it to appeal to hierarchical power. It’s been the only way to placate some people, throughout my life!
It’s unfair to everyone, the same way telling AMAB kids to ‘speak like a man or no one will respect you’. No one should require a deep voice to be respected.
We need to fix this ingrained issue of gender expression = ability.
Yeah I’m a large trans woman and I still distinctly remember how going into college looking like a severely depressed wreck and having a full denial beard I was treated like I obviously knew things and was smart, but by the time i graduated I’d been long transitioned and suddenly as the same person I was assumed less competent despite those 5 years being when I went from a dipshit who knew nothing to someone competent. And the speaking patterns I’d been punished for not having became ones I was punished for having.
But also I’m big enough I can make myself heard, it often comes with negative side effects (trans women standing up for ourselves isn’t traditionally smiled on), but I can do it. My mom was the same way and I’m grateful to have had her demonstrate it for me time and again. My little sister though got neither out mom’s size nor her extroversion. It frustrates me to no end that just because she’s small and capable of shutting her mouth some people treat her as less intelligent instead of the brilliant anxious wreck she is.
And yeah I definitely butch it up a bit at work because I’m in a male dominated field and want to be taken remotely seriously. And the fact that I’m choosing to stop myself here from listing examples is part of how big of a problem this is. Patriarchy isn’t some ideology but rather it is woven deep into our culture and the way we are taught to think and interact. It is difficult and important work to push back against it in ourselves and part of that is going to be making a point to listen to what small feminine people have to say, including the quiet and timid ones.
See, I know this is part of the trans hate. It’s a lot harder to enforce patriarchy when one sees behind the curtain & talks about it.
Thank you for being you, and standing up for yourself. I’m married to a (tall & gorgeous) trans woman, and she was surprised that no one gets out of her way anymore, lol. She says people invade her personal space and stand directly in her path constantly.
This shit really is so ingrained in our society.
And thank you for being you. We need women and feminine people of all shapes and sizes being strong, capable, and refusing to not be heard. It was feminist theory that gave me the words to describe what I saw and that was built on a wide array of experiences.